Finger Prints and Eye Exams

This morning I had two main things on my to do list; go to the eye doctor and get our fingerprints done for our FBI background check. Justin was off work this morning, so he and the boys dropped me off at my eye doctor appointment and then went across the street to buy a few groceries.

I had never been to the eye doctor until a few months ago. I started having blurry vision and wasn't sure what was going on, so my doctor referred me to an ophthalmologist. He discovered that I had inflammation of my eyes as well as fluid on my eyes. I had to have a steroid injection in my eye. Yes, a shot in my eyeball! He ordered for my family doctor to give me several blood tests, and they all came back normal. My eye started doing much better after the shot, but my doctor still wants to watch it to make sure it doesn't get any worse. Today he could see that I still have inflammation on my right eye, but no fluid. He said he could give me another shot today, but he didn't think it would be necessary. So, as you can probably guess I opted out on the shot in the eye. If the doctor doesn't think it's necessary, then neither do I. We are really praying that God will heal my eyes completely. We can not find a cause for the inflammation and there really is no treatment besides the occasional steroid shot when it gets bad. I don't think it is a coincidence that this all started right as we began the adoption process, so we are praying hard that is goes away just as quickly as it came.

Anyway, Justin has to drive after my appointments, because I can't see well when my eyes are dilated. I don't know if it affects everyone this way, but I can not see anything close up. I could not even see any of the numbers or keys on my phone when I was trying to call Justin. I was a little nervous about going to the sheriff's office for our fingerprinting with my limited sight. We had to park on the street and walk in the Bright son to the court house annex. I realized that maybe I should invest in a pair of better sunglasses than the $5 ones I purchased from a vendor on Bourbon Street.

The fingerprinting was actually a fun experience. Everyone was really nice and helpful. The guy who did my fingerprints laughed with me (or maybe at me) as I explained that he would just have to take my hand and place it where it needed to go, because I couldn't see a thing. It turns out thats what you have to do anyway, so it was perfect. I tried to take a picture of Justin getting his finger prints done, but I couldn't tell until now just how bad of a pic it was.
Oh, well! I was determined to document this event. We are planning to send these off tomorrow to West Virginia. It can take up to 13 weeks to get the results back, but we are praying it doesn't take that long. It is also possible that the prints could be unreadable meaning that we would have to do it all over again. Please, pray with us that this doesn't happen and that we will have the results back soon.
The boys found the candy jar as soon as we walked into the office. They sat down and quietly ate their candy while Justin and I had our fingerprints taken. When the officer finished he gave the boys police badges. They were so proud!
We will also be mailing information tomorrow to get our passports renewed. We were happy to discover that we can both renew them through the mail. It is always nice to check things off the to do list. Thursday I have our dossier run through call with our new case worker. I am looking forward to "meeting" her and about learning the best way to tackle the dossier. There is a lot to do, but everyday that passes and everything we check off our list gets us "one day closer" to bringing home our little girl.

The Best

I just have to brag on my husband right now. He really is the best husband and daddy in the world. This afternoon I went to lay down with Jax during his nap and ended up sleeping for over an hour. I never take naps, so it was pretty nice. When I woke up and came into the living room, I saw this on the breakfast room table.I looked at Justin and said, "What is on our table?" He told me to go check it out. It was a sweet Thank you card and two outfits for Mia. He got it just to tell me thanks for being a good mommy to our boys and for getting things ready for the adoption. It was so sweet of him! I love the little outfits for our girl. Jax liked them too and wanted to hold on to them for a few minutes. He kept saying, "Mia will like her clothes." He also said her favorite color will be pink. I hope so!!!!!

Of course, we have no idea what size she will be wearing when she comes home or even what season it will be, so I have refrained from buying any clothes just yet, but what a sweet gift from Daddy. I bet it won't take long for Mia to have him wrapped around her little finger.We all love our little girl so much already!

Emotions

Lately, when I tell people that we are adopting they usually say something like "Oh, how exciting!" or "You must be so excited!" To which I usually reply, "Oh yes, I am so excited!" I know people are encouraged by our decision and want to rejoice with us and for this I am thankful. I have been feeling lots of emotions lately associated with the adoption, but I have to admit that excitement is not one of those feelings.

Lately, I have had a heavy heart. I have been thinking about and praying for our daughter and her birth mother a lot. I wonder if her mother knows that she will not get to raise her child. I wonder what circumstances will bring her to the point of giving up her child. Will it be voluntary or involuntary? I read somewhere that 1 in 10 women die during child birth in Rwanda. As a mother it completely breaks my heart to think about another mother being unable to care for her child due to poverty, disease, or any other reason.

I have also been thinking about the orphanage where our daughter will live until we are able to bring her home. I read blog articles like this one and this one from people who describe their visit to the Home of Hope Orphanage where our daughter lives or will live and my heart breaks all over again. Please take the time to read these articles and to pray for the orphans and caretakers who call this place home.

I have been filled with a quiet sadness. Of course, I don't share this with people when I tell them about our adoption. I don't want to say, "Well I would be excited, but I just can't stop thinking about the mother who won't be able to raise her beautiful child or the thousands of orphaned children who just want someone to hold them for a few minutes." So, I just hold it inside, wrestle within myself, and try not to cry.

Yesterday morning I woke up very early after a restless night of sleep and I began to pray about all of these things that were weighing on my heart. Within a few minutes I was sobbing and grieving for the women and children of Rwanda. I have to say though that the Lord met me in my grief and it was a beautiful thing. I felt like He was right there with me comforting me and saying, "It's ok. I know how you feel. My heart breaks too. It breaks my heart, too!"

Of course He did not leave me there in my grief. He put a new song of hope in my heart. I read the following verses in the Message Bible about the story of the scattered seeds, "The seed cast in the weed represents the ones who hear the kingdom news but are overwhelmed with worries about all the things they have to do and all the things they want to get. The stress strangles what they heard, and nothing comes of it. But the seed planted in the good earth represents those who hear the Word, embrace it, and produce a harvest beyond their wildest dreams." Mark 4:18-20 I pray that I will not get bogged down with the stress and worries of this world, but that I would hear, embrace, and do God's word. I can't wait to see the beautiful harvest that He will produce.

I think it was important for me to grieve and to realize that behind every happy adoption story there is great tragedy. I am sure one day our daughter will come face to face with this as she questions who she is and where she comes from. I know God's plan is so much bigger than what we can see and because of this I have hope. So, today I can truthfully say that I am excited to see what the Lord is planning to do in our lives and in our daughter's life.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

One Smile Closer :: Kinly and Gatlin

Justin was able to take pics of our friend, Lisa's kids last week when we were in Texas. Lisa has been telling us that she wanted Justin to take pics when he came to town, since she found out he was doing photography. She also sent out an e-mail to her friends to advertise for us. I can not tell you enough how thankful I am for Lisa's friendship. It was so great to see her and the kids! We went to the water park with them after our photo shoot. As you can see her kids are beautiful and they also have a sweet little sister who is due in October. We can't wait to take her pictures when she arrives.

One Smile Closer :: Park family reunion

Come Rain, Come Shine

I was very excited to open the door yesterday, to see a package from AGCI on my front doorstep. We received our adoption planner and dossier. I immediately opened the binder and began to thumb through it. I soon discovered that all of the dossier papers said China and the document CD was also labeled China. Oops! I called AGCI and they apologized for the mix up and said they would overnight the Rwanda dossier papers. Our dossier call is scheduled for this Thursday.Justin was home from work yesterday, so we decided to go get our fingerprints taken for our FBI check. It is very important that we get this done soon, because it can take a while to get the results in. So, we all loaded up in the car yesterday as the rain began to pour down around us. When we arrived Justin dropped the boys and I off at the door while he parked, so we wouldn't get soaking wet. I had joked with Justin on the way there that we were going to get those fingerprints done and mailed off, "come rain, come shine." When we all got to the police station we learned that everyone had gone home for the day, because the air was out. The officer told us it was 115 degrees in the building. So, we are going to try again on Monday. We just had to laugh!

We have had so many little bumps in the road of our adoption journey so far. We decided in Feb. that we wanted to adopt from Africa. From there we began looking for an agency, then a local home study agency. I really thought when we started that we would be done with our home study and dossier by the end of summer and be on the waiting list for our child by early fall. Well, it is now August and we are just starting our dossier. I will admit this has been pretty frustrating for me, but I know that is is about God's timing, not mine. I keep reminding myself that He has our daughter picked out for us and we just have to trust Him. Each little bump and turn in the road is leading us to Mia. Also, if everything was going "perfectly" or in my time I wouldn't be trusting in God and relying on Him. I would miss out on the lessons He wants me to learn.

Guess what just arrived as I was typing this...our Rwanda Dossier papers! God's timing is perfect! We will continue to trust in Him, come rain or come shine.

Stuff for Mia

We were gone all last week. Justin attended a media conference in Dallas and the boys and I went with him. Well, we didn't go to the conference of course, but we went to visit family and friends. We are back now and I am trying to get back into the swing of things. Sawyer will start Pre-K in a couple of weeks. I can't believe he is that big already! Anyway, I wanted to show you a few things for our little girl. My BFF, Ashley brought me this bag from Zambia a few years ago. She was a missionary there for 2 years. She bought it for me (Meredith), but I thought it would be perfect for Mia Grace. I can use it in her room or even as a little African diaper bag.
My sweet friend, Tawni is moving back to Washington State in a few weeks. She knew she wouldn't be here when Mia came home, but she wanted to get her a gift. She surprised me with a bag full of adorable girl clothes, blankets, and bows. This mommy of boys was thrilled to open that gift. I absolutely can not wait to dress my baby girl. I am especially in love with the flower headbands!
I decided that we would start filling a piggy bank to go towards our adoption fund. Some friends of mind gave me this pig five years ago when we first got our foster children. I found it the other day and thought it would be just right. The boys know that the money in the bank is for their baby sister. Anytime they find change they run to put it in Mia's bank. It is a little way we can all contribute to bringing home our baby. Sawyer told our social worker today that the money was for his baby sister, "but not to play with, just to help us pay for her to come home."

BTW, we had our last home study meeting today. That process seemed to go pretty quickly. However, we still have a few forms to turn in before our home study can be complete including our FBI fingerprints which we have yet to do. We plan to take care of that this week. We should also receive our adoption planner from our agency any day now. Yea! We are so ready to get started on our dossier.