Friday, April 15, 2011

My Week In Review: The Week of the Mood Swings

This week in review will be a little different. I hope that's ok, Amy. It has been a week of highs and lows and my emotions have been a bit all over the place. My poor husband probably thought that we would be able to skip the mood swings since we are adopting this time. This mama to be has been a little emotional this week.

The first low came on Monday, while I was cleaning toys at the church. I was just sitting there thinking about what I was going to do next year. Both my boys will be in school during the day and I am not sure if I should keep doing what I am doing or get more of a "real" job. So tears just started streaming down my face because I really thought when we started our adoption journey that we would have another baby by this summer. I have always thought we would have 3 kids by now. That was my plan! I know God's plan is much better than mine, but sometimes I do get sad, since i don't know what His plan is just yet.

Tuesday was a great day! We picked Sawyer up from school and had a spontaneous ice cream party. It was so much fun to spend special time with my boys.
Sawyer had t-ball practice that evening. I love watching Justin coach Sawyer and 10 other little kids who don't have a clue where first base is. They are so precious. This was definitely a high.

That night Justin got the boys in bed while I cleaned the kitchen. They were playing so silly and I could hear roars of laughter coming from their bedroom. It struck me how incredibly blessed we are to have each other. I thanked God in that moment that my kids have a daddy that they adore and think is the funniest person on the planet. Shouldn't every child have that? Just another reason why we want to give a child a family. Every child deserves to have spontaneous ice cream parties and have a daddy who makes them laugh hysterically before bed.

Wednesday started out great. I had women's bible study (high) and lunch with a sweet friend (high). Then that evening I was in an awful mood (low). I just didn't feel right. I had a nervous stomach and didn't know why and was getting my feelings hurt over the silliest things. That night as I was showering and getting ready for bed, I tried to figure out why I was feeling that way. All the sudden it hit me that I needed to pray for our child or children. I started praying and then asked Justin to come pray with me. I have no idea why, but I felt such an urgency to pray. It is so hard to have a connection to a child and have no idea where that child is and if she is ok.

I went right to sleep after praying with Justin and then I woke at 3:30 and could not go back to sleep. Again, I felt the urgency to pray for our daughter.

Thursday I felt such a peace and was in surprisingly good spirits, despite being up much of the night.

Today Daddy and Jax got to spend quality time together which means that I got a little time to myself. That is always a high.

I took the boys and their stuffed animals to the library this evening for a stuffed animal slumber party. We listened to stories and made name tags for our furry friends before leaving them over night.

We will go pick them up in the morning and see how much fun they had. We also get pancakes, which is really all my kids care about.
Lesson Learned
The lesson I learned this crazy week is that God is my constant. No matter how I am feeling, He doesn't change. When I am sad I can cry out to Him to give me peace. When I am happy and hopeful for what the Lord is doing in our family, I can thank and praise Him. When I am feeling out of sorts I can go to the One who knows why and what I need in that moment. I am thankful He uses all of my feelings and emotions to bring me closer to Him.

Filled With Praise


  1. What a beautiful lesson learned. I know I need to learn that lesson over and over sometimes.

    Just stopping by from Amy's!

  2. God's plans are so different than ours... (I hear ya!!!!)

    Praying for you as God leads you into this next year.

  3. I loved reading about your highs from this week. I know exactly what you mean with your lows and lessons learned. I can tell you though once your baby is in your arms it will all be worth it and you will look back at his amazing plan with awe.
    Hope you have a great weekend.

  4. Adoption is SUCH a rollercoaster. I always try and remember that, once my little girl is in my arms, all the bad will just look like perfect stepping stones that led me to her :)

    Praying for your heart tonight!

    Brooke Annessa