There is a lot of uncertainty about what the timeline will look like for all Ethiopian adoptions. It is probable that things will slow down for a while at least temporarily. This is hard for me to think about, because it didn't seem like things were going very quickly even before all of this. The time has passed quickly and we have moved up on the list, but we still have a Long way to go. It is just hard for me to think about how much longer it could be.
I am really trying to focus on the present and what God wants to teach me daily. I have been reading the book, Orphanology, by Tony Merida and Rick Morton. I read something that Rick Morton wrote that really stood out to me. He was talking about a conversation he had with Russell Moore, another adoptive parent, writer, professor, and pastor.
"I was lamenting about how hard it was to adopt our son and how long it was taking; Russ looked at me with a smile and said, "Yes, but in this process you will learn things about the heart of God that you might not otherwise know." That was prophetic. What God has unfolded before us over the last several years has been a great journey of understanding Him, His story, His plan, and His people more. It's not that we have it all figured out by any means. It's that we see something of Him a little more clearly."
These words really struck a chord with me and I have thought of them every day since I read them. I think they are so true. I know the Lord has drawn me closer to Him through this process. Yes, it's hard at times. No, it is not what I expected from the beginning. But if it brings me closer to the heart of my Savior what more could I ask for. Justin and I said from the beginning that we were adopting out of obedience to the Lord and that our main goal was to bring Him glory.
I do believe there is a child or children at the end of all of this, but even if there isn't, I know it is the path God wants us on. I am learning more each day about how much my Father loves me, how much He loves all of His children, and how he pursues us with a never ending love. He is the only reason we can pursue our child, the one we have never laid eyes on, with a love that never gives up.
I am thankful God called us on this journey. I am thankful that He continues to provide for our family every step of the way. Of course I pray that our wait won't be too much longer, but mostly I pray that God would draw me closer and closer to Himself during the wait no matter how long it is.
"Be strong and take heart all you who hope in the Lord." Psalm 31:24