Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Lots of Love and Cookies for our Girl

We had our Dossier Run Through (DRT) call this week. We are finally caught up to the place we left off when we found out we wouldn't be able to adopt from Rwanda. We have done everything that we had to do again. I am so happy to be caught up, but I am also fearful. I am excited to get started once again and get this paper work knocked out, but I can't help but think, "what is going to go wrong next?" I confessed to my listserv friends today, that I am fearful and in need of prayer. I am so, so thankful for this group of people who I have never met, but who share my heart for adoption and who understand my fears.

Last night we were all enjoying milk and cookies after dinner when Jax said "Daddy, don't eat all of the cookies. Save some for my baby." Oh, how I love his heart! He says things like this every day. He will find a toy and say, "Oh, Mia will love this when she gets here!" It breaks my heart, because I know it will be at least a year and a half or two years before "his baby" will be here to share cookies and toys with him. I know he doesn't understand this, so I try to tell him that it will be a long time before the baby comes home. Even our 4 year old has started telling him, "it will be a long, long time before our baby comes home."

This is so Hard! I decided a few weeks ago that I would try not to talk about our adoption around the kids as much as to make it easier on them. Well, they bring it up every day! They pray for her and ask questions about her. It doesn't matter what I do, she is on our minds and in our hearts. I decided today during my prayer time that I will stop trying to resist it. I will stop trying to control it. My 3 and 4 year old children don't understand time and I shouldn't try to tell them not to be excited about their sister.

Please join us in praying for the rest of our paperwork process to go smoothly. It has not been smooth up to this point and I just want to finish it. We still have a lot to do, so pray that we will make the time to do it and that we won't have anymore hiccups along the way.

Sweet Girl,
We love you so much! There is not a day that goes by that we don't think about you. You have two awesome big brothers waiting for you. They long to shower you with hugs, kisses, and chocolate chip cookies. One day in the future when you are all fighting over the last cookie, I will remind them of a time when they couldn't wait to share their cookies with you. Our family is just not complete without you. We miss you, so! Although, we want you here right now, we are going to fill out all of our paperwork. We are going to wait, wait, wait, loving you deeply no matter how long it takes. You have a Heavenly Father who loves you even more than we do. He put this love for you in our hearts. One day I am going to tell you all about Him and His love for you.
Love You Much,


  1. Thank you so much for stopping by my blog and nice to "meet" you =D

    What sweet hearts of your boys...that just puts a smile on your face. Someone just encouraged me by saying at such a young age time means something so different to them. Although they may miss them now, once baby is here they won't really remember that stage. My boy is only two, but we talk about our "Lil Miss" all the time too. It is so hard to feel like there's an empty chair every night at dinner and a part of your heart missing from every tradition and holiday celebration.

  2. Praying for your family. I understand.

    Our kids sometimes seem like God's little undercover agents, dont they? :)

    Know I am praying for you...!!!!

  3. meredith - I love praying for our "family". It makes me feel so connected to you all - even though we are so far away! Cannot wait to follow your journey - He has such great things in store for you!!!

  4. Praying for you! With my three year old, I try to let him bring up the adoption and I answer questions as necessary. This is actually how I handled my pregnancy with his little sister. Time is so different to little ones, it's hard to explain that baby brother won't be home for a year or more!

  5. It is nice to "meet" you too! I think one of the best things about the AGCI family is that they really get it! Even more than our real family- they just don't understand the way that all the uncertainties wear on you. May the Lord grace you superabundantly!

  6. Precious post and letter to Mia! And I think it is great to talk about the adoption and your sweet baby girl a lot! We talk about Caroline Faith ALL THE TIME around here! Hey, our kids are never too young to start learning patience! :)