one day closer

Update and Prayer

2012-02-21T15:13:00.003-08:00

We found out this morning that our file made it to Nairobi. We found out exactly a week ago that we were sent, so we were happy to receive this news this morning. The state department has 30 days to review our file, but hopefully it won't take this long. There are currently 3 families with our agency who are waiting for their cases to be cleared in Nairobi (our family and 2 others). There is one family (the family we traveled with) who are still waiting on the embassy to either clear their case or send it to Nairobi. This is a hard place to be and I hope and pray everyday that we will all be cleared soon so our kids can come home.

Some of the families with our agency are planning to have a prayer time tonight for the four families I mentioned. I love the other AGCI families so much. We really are a family that encourages each other, prays for one another, and really just loves each other. We are planning to pray at 8:00 central time tonite. Please join us in praying for the Lord to move mountains and allow our children to come home.

They will call on my name and I will answer them; I will say, 'They are my people,' and they will say, 'The LORD is our God. Zechariah 13:9

Surrender

2012-02-19T18:26:00.003-08:00

A little over six months ago we saw a picture of our daughter. We didn't know she was our daughter, but we knew she was a precious child who needed a home. She stole our hearts and soon we were in the process of becoming her parents.

Two months ago we appeared in front of a judge in Ethiopia and were told that our daughter was all ours. We became a family of five and our daughter became a Bufkin. It was a happy day! At the time, I thought we would be back in a month, maybe six weeks. Well, here we are, still waiting half a world away from our little girl.
The past couple of weeks have been really hard for me emotionally. I have shed many tears and prayed many prayers. I know God has a plan for us. I know our daughter will come home, but the wait and the many unknowns are hard.
God has taught me so much through this adoption. Many of the lessons I have learned have come in the hard moments. But, in the last couple of weeks all I have felt is frustration and pain. I knew this was an opportunity for the Lord to teach me; to grow me and to mold me to be more like His son. I just wasn't seeing the lesson. I wanted God to teach me something, to reveal Himself to me, so I asked Him to do just this.

The last couple of days I have felt the Lord speak to my heart. I hear Him saying, "Surrender."

This is not the first time the Lord has called me to surrender my life and my family over to Him. I really thought I already had. We followed the Lord in obedience to adopt our child. It feels like that should be enough, but God is showing me that He wants more from me. I still struggle with wanting things to happen my way and in my time. I thought I knew the perfect date for our daughter to come home. She didn't, so now I have another "perfect time" in my head.

I think I am beginning to realize that I have to surrender my own plans. I have to tell my Heavenly Father that no matter what happens, He is enough. I can't put my daughter, or any of my children for that matter, above Him. He needs to be first in my life and I have not been putting Him there.

This is something I am still learning. I don't have it all figured out by any means. I know that some days I feel completely at peace in the wait and other days I am not.

We could find out this week or next that our case has been cleared and we get to go get our daughter. We could be waiting for another couple of months. We may have to fight harder before she comes home. Whatever it is, I pray that I can say, "It is well with my soul." I will serve the Lord no matter what happens. I choose to praise Him in the good times and the bad.

Sick

2012-02-16T18:48:00.003-08:00

Yesterday, I kept Jaxon home from school because he had a horrible cough. Neither of us felt well, so we just laid around the house all day, stayed in our pjs (well, Jax did change into his Mario costume around noon), and took a nap together. It's no fun being sick, but I did enjoy our day together and he was feeling much better today.

This morning I got a call that Mia is sick. She has an upper respiratory tract infection. It seems that it is going around HH. I am honestly surprised we made it this long without a medical update call. I really wish I could be with her especially now that she is sick. It makes me so sad to know she isn't feeling well.

I know she is being well take care of and I pray she feels better very soon.

My Valentines Day

2012-02-15T15:16:00.004-08:00

Monday evening I wrote about how I wanted to hear something from the embassy. Well, yesterday I got not one, but two e-mails from the embassy.

The first e-mail informed us that our case was being sent to Nairobi for further review. This isn't exactly the e-mail we were hoping for, but we weren't surprised by it. We are thankful to be sent now rather than later. It will take at least a week for our file to get to Nairobi and then at least a week or so before we hear anything regarding our case.

The second e-mail was from the vice consul of the embassy telling me why our case was sent for further review. I really appreciated this e-mail, but it was also difficult to read some of what he had to say. I just keep reminding myself that none of this is a surprise to God. We are trusting Him to make a way for our daughter to be home soon.

So, my Valentine's Day was filled with not so good news, but it was also filled with blessings.

My Valentine surprised me at work with chocolate covered strawberries (yum!) and beautiful pink tulips. I also enjoyed giving my little valentines the treats we got for them. Jax said, "Why did you get me this mom? Is it so you could show me that you care for me?" I just love that kid!

Justin and I made breakfast for dinner last night, the boys favorite. They really enjoyed the scrambled eggs, sausage, pancakes with strawberries, and hot chocolate with heart shaped marshmallows.

I also had a special surprise from a friend yesterday. She brought a brand new jogging stroller for our sweet Mia. Yay! I can't wait to take walks around the block with my little girl.

This morning when I checked my e-mail my inbox was filled with more precious pictures of my sweet girl. here is a portion of the e-mail my friend sent that made me smile.

Here are some pictures of your precious daughter! I have video too! Just need to find time and energy when I get home to send it! :) I got to hold your daughter and love on her and pray for her!!!!! :) She's a sweetie! She smiled more than the pictures show... my camera is not quick enough to catch it but she was a happy girl!!! She's so adorable and loving!!!! HAve a great day!

And here's another one:

Oh your girl is so precious!
We had a nice time at HH! I prayed for God to let her come home to you and told her how much you love and miss her! She never stopped smiling for long!!!! So cute!!!!!

And one more:

She is well taken care of so you can have peace in that.. so hard waiting though... Your daughter was suppose to be taking a nap but they woke her up for me so I could get pictures for you! THen she held out her arms to me and wanted to come out and walk around! So cute! Then she took a nap after! :) What a precious one!!!!!

It makes my heart happy to know she is being well taken care of and receiving lots of love until we can be reunited with her. God is hearing our prayers, friends!! He is near to our daughter and loves her more than we could ever imagine!!

Checking E-Mail in My Sleep

2012-02-13T18:09:00.001-08:00

Ethiopia is nine hours ahead of us. So, as I am going to bed each night, most people in Ethiopia are just beginning their day including my sweet girl and the people who work at the embassy. Before I go to bed I pray for Mia and the people who are working on her case.

Every morning the first thing I do after I get out of bed is check my e-mail to see if the embassy has tried to contact us. Usually my inbox is empty and I start the day feeling a little let down. I usually continue to check on and off until about 8:30. Sometimes I even check it at random times like during the middle of the night in Ethiopia or on the weekends. You know, just in case someone couldn't sleep and decided to clear our case in the middle of the night. ;)

I usually wake up at least a few times during the night and wonder what's going on at the embassy. I have even dreamt more than once that I got up and checked my e-mail. Last night I dreamed I got an e-mail from the embassy saying they were sending a letter to someone who they needed to talk to about our case. Yes, I am going crazy!!

It will be so nice when I can actually sleep peacefully again without worrying about what is going on at the embassy while I am sleeping.

I did not receive an e-mail from the embassy in real life today. It has now been 3 weeks since I have heard anything. I did get an e-mail from a sweet friend who is in Ethiopia picking up her 2 boys. She actually got to meet our Mia the day she arrived to Hannah's Hope in November. My friend took some pics of us for Mia to see. She said she was smiling and loved looking at them. She also said she was adorable and happy :) It made my heart happy to receive this e-mail. I also got a few new pics of our sweet girl from another friend last week. I am so thankful that I at least have these happy e-mails for now. Maybe, just maybe, we will hear from the embassy soon.

Things That Made Me Smile This Week

2012-02-11T06:03:00.000-08:00

I know my last post was a downer. Thanks to all of you who prayed for us this week. Thursday and Friday my mood and attitude was much better. It was another week filled with silence regarding our case. At this point, no news is not good news. However, the week was also filled with sweet blessings and things that made me happy. I want to share just a few of the things that made me smile this week.

1. Monday I was able to visit my dear friend Mia. We have been close friends ever since we met at LA Tech's freshman orientation. We actually met while washing our hands before lunch. Mia is one of the greatest blessings in my life and she is one of the reasons we loved the name Mia for our daughter. We talk on the phone often, but had not seen each other in a while, so it was great to be able to chat and catch up on each other's lives. I also got to visit with her two precious daughters. The only pic I got from our visit was this one of her oldest daughter. Isn't she cute?
2. Another thing that made me smile were these sweet monogrammed jumpers Mia got for our Mia Grace. I can't wait to dress her up in all her cute new clothes. Her closet is filled with lots of fun, girly things.
3. Jax has been making Valentine's for his sister for the past few weeks. Actually, anytime he colors a picture or makes anything at school or church, he says it is for Mia. I found a stash of things he put in his sister's room for her to have when she comes home. He even made a little goody bag filled with granola bars and small toys. I love his heart for his little sis!
4. Thursday I got to have lunch with two of my loves. Sawyer's class has been learning about Louisiana, so they went on a field trip to a local seafood restaurant. Justin and I were able to join him for some yummy seafood. Sawyer's favorite was the catfish and fried shrimp.
5. Sawyer was chosen to be king of his class Mardi Gras parade. We went to watch the parade yesterday. He had a blast!
This little pose made me laugh. He was really hamming it up during the parade.
6. I have to say that I am so thankful for great friends. I was able to have many conversations this week with old and new friends that encouraged me and lifted my spirits.

Today

2012-02-08T19:04:00.001-08:00

Today I am missing my daughter so much it hurts.

Today I have cried my fair share of tears.

Today I feel weary.

Today I am thankful for friends who encourage, support, and love me.

Today I am glad my God is a God of compassion and love, a God who is near to the broken hearted.

My little girl turns three years old next month. We should be planning a party and picking out a cake. She should be asking her mommy and daddy for toys. Instead she is in an orphanage with no idea that she is about to have a birthday.

My heart is hurting and longing to hold my sweet girl again.

I pray, and pray, and pray some more. I have no doubt the Lord hears me. I have no doubt that He will answer, but I do grow weary sometimes. Somedays, like today, I feel that I just can't even pray one more prayer.

This verse has been such a comfort to me on days like today.

"In the same way the spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us in groans that words cannot express." Romans 8:26

I am out of words, but it's ok, because the Spirit Himself will intercede for me. He will intercede for our sweet daughter. The Lord will bring her home and He will receive all the glory and all the praise.

Clueless

2012-02-07T19:05:00.000-08:00

As I am sure you know I am so ready to have my daughter home. I must confess, though, there is something I have been worried about. It probably sounds really silly, but I am so nervous about learning to take care of Mia's hair.

I don't know anything about doing hair. I don't even own a bottle of hairspray. I just wash my hair, dry it, and brush it.

The boys' hair regimen consists of me spraying it with water and combing it down. I occasionally use a little gel on the front of Sawyer's hair.

I must be the most clueless person on the planet when it comes to hair care, especially African hair care.

I have been asking everyone I know for advice and Chocolate Hair Vanilla Care is my new favorite blog.

So I am clueless, but I am learning. I had no idea before that there were different types of hair, but now I know. I am pretty sure Mia has 4c hair and apparently it can change as she grows. There is so much for me to learn!

I have purchased a couple of products and plan to buy a few more before she comes. Her hair and skin care products will definitely cost more than the rest of the members of our household combined. =) Oh, the joys of a little girl!!

So, if you have advice now is the time to share it. I would love to know what types of hair products you like for chocolate hair and any special tips you have for this clueless mom.

February 2012

2012-02-05T13:53:00.000-08:00

We are still waiting to hear from the embassy. Monday will be:

7 weeks since we passed court in Ethiopia

4 weeks since our file was submitted to the embassy

2 weeks since we have heard anything at all from the embassy

Every weekday morning I check my e-mail as soon as I wake up, sometimes in the middle of the night, to see if the embassy has tried to contact us. Usually my inbox leaves me disappointed. I have no idea what this week or the next few weeks will hold, but I am continuing to pray that we will be cleared soon.

So far, February has been a special month in our adoption journey. It is also the month, 11 years ago, that Justin and I started dating.

February 2010 is when we really got serious about pursuing adoption. We had been talking about adoption for a while, but we didn't know where to adopt from or what agency to use. We went to an Adopted for Life conference praying the Lord would give us direction and answers. It was at this conference, we knew our child was in Africa, most likely Ethiopia. We also first heard of our wonderful agency, AGCI. It is hard to know when our adoption journey officially began, but to me this is when it really started.

A year later, Feb 2011, we were on AGCI's wait list. I started the month feeling very discouraged and wondering how long it would be before we finally saw our daughter's face. I went to the Created for Care retreat and the Lord truly renewed my weary soul. He also showed me that His plans for our life and our adoption may be different than what we had planned. I really feel this was when he started to prepare my heart for our sweet Mia.

So, now here we are in Feb. 2012. We know our daughter and we love her dearly, but she is still not home. I have no idea what will happen in Feb. 2012, but I am praying hard that this is the month our adoption of Mia Grace becomes full and final!!!

Do You Know?

2012-02-04T06:45:00.001-08:00

The Muffin Man, The Muffin Man?
Do you know the Muffin Man who lives on Drury Lane?
My little Jaxon was the muffin man in the nursery rhyme parade yesterday.
He looked so cute walking and smiling in the parade. I am glad we were all able to go watch him.
His friend Nicholas also dressed like the muffin man. They looked so cute!

Our Own Little Created for Care Retreat

2012-02-02T17:45:00.000-08:00

Last February I went to a retreat for adoptive moms called Created for Care. It was a wonderful weekend and time to connect with other adoptive moms. I have been so blessed to meet so many wonderful women who are also on this adoption journey. I really don't know what I would do without these precious women the Lord has put in my life.

This year I signed up right away for Created for Care 2012. I couldn't wait to go again. Well, things changed and we thought we may be traveling to Ethiopia at the end of January, so I sold my ticket. Things changed again and I thought I may be able to go, but in the end it didn't work out. I was disappointed at first, but then I made plans to meet my friend Sarah for lunch on Saturday. We met in the middle of our two towns and had a mini created for care retreat.

Sarah and I have sent numerous e-mails, texts, and talked on the phone many times, but we had never met in person until last Saturday. Our daughter's have lived together for the last 2 years. They were in the same orphanage as babies and now they share a nursery at Hannah's Hope. Sarah was one of the first people I talked to when we found out about our daughter. She was praying for her before we even knew she was our daughter. We have a special connection because of our precious daughters and I am so thankful for her friendship.

We are both waiting on the embassy to clear our cases, so that we can bring our sweet girls home where they belong. This wait has been so hard, but I am thankful to have a friend who understands and doesn't mind when I cry to her on the phone or in the middle of the Children's Place.

I am looking forward to the days when we can meet up for play dates with Mia and Eve.

Reminding Myself of God's Faithfulness

2012-01-27T04:38:00.000-08:00

My heart has been so heavy lately. I feel a little bit helpless in this wait. I wish there was something I could do to speed up the process of bringing home our daughter. I keep thinking that all I can do is pray. Just this morning I was convicted of the way I think about prayer. I say, "it's all I can do" implying that it isn't much. As if talking to the creator of the universe and bringing my daughter before Her maker is not a big deal.

I pray the Lord will forgive me for my attitude. He has been so faithful to answer our prayers along the way. He is reminding me daily of the specific prayers He has answered. I want to list just a few here.

1. My friend told me this summer that the Lord was showing her to be more specific when she prayed. She said she was praying that we would receive a referral by November. At the time our waitlist number was in the teens for siblings and 50s for a girl. I thought it was sweet of her to pray for this, but in my mind I thought there was no way that could possibly happen. Well, we officially accepted our referral on October 3rd.

2. I prayed daily for over a month that Mia would be able to move from her previous orphanage to our agencies transition home. I became really weary in my prayers and felt like the Lord was urging me to ask others to pray as well. Another dear friend said she felt like God wanted her to start a 24 hour prayer chain for Mia. People from all over the country prayed for our daughter and by the next day she was moved to her new home. Amazing!! You can read about that here.

3. I don't think I have shared this on the blog yet, but our daughter has a history of seizures. Every morning I pray that she will not have a seizure that day and that God will keep her healthy and safe. She has not had one seizure since at least August. She has also not been sick since we accepted our referral in October. Anyone who has a child in an orphanage, or really has a child at all, knows this is pretty amazing. Our agency has to inform us any time she is sick and we have not received one call this entire time. Praise the Lord for this miracle. I continue to pray and believe that she will never have another seizure in her life!!!

4. We prayed that she would be receptive to us when we met her for the first time last month. The first time I met her she ran into my arms, said "mama" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. Need I say more??

This list could go on and on. I know that God has not answered every single prayer the way I want Him to. I know that even though I am praying our file will not be sent to Nairobi, that it still may be sent there. I know that I could get a call today telling me our daughter is sick. None of this will negate how faithful our God is. He wants his children to come to Him, to present our requests to him.

Justin and I were talking about how we want our own children to "use their words" and tell us what they want instead of just cry or sulk about what they don't have. It doesn't mean we will always give them what they want, but we always want them to come to us and tell us. We give them what we feel is best for them. Our Heavenly Father also wants us to come to him and tell Him what we want.

So many days I start to worry and I feel the Lord saying to me, "Just talk to me about it. Just tell me how you feel."

This time my friend told me she is specifically praying that Mia Grace will be in our arms by Valentine's Day. I have other friends who are joining her in this prayer. If you feel led, you can pray this with us.

Oh, how I hope God answers that prayer, but even if He doesn't we trust and know that He has our daughter in the palm of His hands.

The Latest

2012-01-25T04:08:00.000-08:00

So the question I hear most often these days is, "have you heard anything?" Usually, the answer is, "no, still waiting." While, we are still waiting, we did hear something yesterday.

We finally received our first e-mail from the embassy! They wrote us and our agency to request the phone number of someone involved in our daughter's case. We very much expected this. This has been pretty normal lately. We were very happy to see that our case is moving forward.

The director of Hannah's Hope replied back with a number, but not the number they requested. Apparently, she did not have any contact info for the person they were looking for. This does make me a little nervous, but I am praying they are able to find out whatever info they are looking for to clear the case.

I spoke with our caseworker yesterday, who reminded me, that there is a pretty good chance our file will go to Nairobi. In the last couple of months or so, the U.S. embassy in Addis Ababa (where our file is now) has been sending some cases to the embassy in Nairobi for further review. Although, this is not the end of the world, this is not our ideal situation. It will add weeks onto an already lengthy process.

Our caseworker said we should hear something in about a week from the embassy. I will not be surprised if we hear that our case is being sent to Nairobi, but I am not giving up hope. Please join us in praying that the embassy will get every bit of info they need to clear our case from the contact they will interview.

Our daughter has been in an orphanage for close to 3 years now. I am praying that she will get to come home as soon as possible. All of this waiting and uncertainty is so hard on my heart, but I know God is near.

Loved

2012-01-23T05:43:00.000-08:00

Our sweet friends hosted a shower this weekend for Mia Grace. We continue to be amazed by the generosity of our friends and church family. It was a very special shower and we feel so very loved. It overwhelms me to think about how much our daughter is already loved and cared for.
Of course, no shower would be complete without lots of yummy food.
I can honestly say I have never opened so many pink packages before.
It was so much fun to open all of the cute, girly gifts like these adorable little Toms from my sister- in- law. I can't wait to see these on Mia's cute feet.
I'm so thankful for all of these women in this picture. They threw a beautiful shower.
I am also really thankful for these two women, my mom and grandma. I'm so glad they were able to come to the shower. My mother-in-law and sis-in-law were there too and I hate that I didn't get a picture with them before they left to drive back to Texas.
We are so blessed by all of our family and friends. Being at the shower reminded me why we wanted to adopt a child in the very beginning. We are so incredibly blessed by the love of so many people. It broke our heart to think about the millions of children who don't have a family. Justin and I knew that we wanted to change that for a child, so we started the adoption process.

We said from day 1 that we were adopting because God adopted us. We love because He first loved us. 1 John 4:19

I am so thankful that our Mia Grace will soon know the love of a family.

She now has grandparents, aunts, and uncles who can't wait to spoil her with lots of love. She has brothers who think she is the most beautiful girl in the world. Just yesterday, Sawyer told me, "Mia is the most beautiful girl in the whole world. Even if I had three more sisters I would think she was the most beautiful." I almost felt sorry for her three imaginary sisters.

She will know what it is like to be a part of a church family who has prayed for her every step of the way.

I pray most of all that one day she will know the love of her Heavenly Father, the one who created love in the first place. I pray she will know what it is like to be adopted into His family. I am so thankful that we were the ones God chose to teach her about His amazing love.

Today I feel so loved. I pray our girl feels loved today, too.

so close, yet still so far away

2012-01-17T16:28:00.000-08:00

One month ago today we met our beautiful daughter. We spent four wonderful days with her before we had to say goodbye. It was so hard to say goodbye, not knowing when we would see her again. I was hopeful that we would be back in about a month or maybe a little more.

As we approach a month since we left, we still have no idea when we will return to Ethiopia. There are still several potential things that can delay us even more. I am sure I have said this before, I probably sound like a broken record by now, but this part of the wait is so hard.

One part of me feels like I need to get on the ball and make all the preparations we need for our second trip and for bringing home our daughter. I still have a long to-do list and I know that if I got a call tomorrow saying we needed to book a flight, after I shouted with joy, I would be running around like a crazy person.

I told myself that after we were submitted to embassy, I would get busy on tackling the to-do list, but trip two still feels so far away in my mind. I don't know if the reality of all of this will sink in until we are actually leaving Hannah's Hope with her in our arms.

Every day I pray that the embassy will clear us and all the other waiting families very soon. Some moments I feel very hopeful and confident that we will go in a couple of weeks. Other moments I feel like I don't need to get my hopes up. It's such a strange place to be and I really don't like it.

Thankfully, I am not alone. God has never left me or my daughter. He never promised this would be easy, just that He would never leave us or forsake us.

All this being said, dear prayer warriors, we still need your prayers. The Lord has answered all of us in mighty ways and I know He will continue to. Please keep praying!! I grow weary sometimes, but I take heart, knowing we have so many people praying for sweet Mia Grace.

Sneak Peek of Mia's Room

2012-01-16T06:43:00.000-08:00

We have been getting ready for our little girl to come home. We still don't have any word on when that will be, but we have been staying busy preparing her room. We still have a few things to do, but here is a little sneak peek. Justin painted the room before we left. This isn't a great pic, but I love the color of her walls. It is called barely teal. The bedding came from my friend Megan. We will also put up a pack and play, since she is used to sleeping in a crib. I had fun getting her shelves ready.
This is my favorite shelf. The Ethiopian doll and book came from Target. Everything else is from Ethiopia.
On Friday, Megan helped me paint some things for Mia's room. The boys also helped create some things for their sister's room. They were so proud and I think they came out really cute.
Now we just need to hang everything on the wall.
These cute little birdies match the bedding. Megan painted them. It's all coming together nicely. I hope sweet Mia Grace likes her new bedroom.

Our File is at the Embassy

2012-01-10T14:12:00.000-08:00

We found out today that our file was submitted to the U.S. embassy. We were very happy to hear this news. Our agency submits files on Mondays or Tuesdays, if there is a holiday. So, we knew if we didn't hear anything today we would have to wait a whole week before hearing anything. Justin and I prayed before going to bed last night that we would get the good news today.

We still don't know when we actually get to travel back to Ethiopia. We could be cleared in 2 or 3 weeks or 2 or 3 months. We would obviously prefer a few weeks, so please join us in praying for things to go smoothly with our case.

We need to start packing and planning for our daughter to come home soon. At the same time, we have to prepare our hearts that we could still have a long wait of us ahead. It's a hard place to be in.

We trust the Lord and know that without a doubt His timing has been perfect so far. Not exactly as we always wanted, but perfect, just the same. He has seen us through so much and we continue to put all of our trust in Him, not in the U.S. government, not in our agency, not in ourselves, but in our great God.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5

Melkam Gena and a Christmas Recap

2012-01-07T17:18:00.001-08:00

So, I was going to post this yesterday, but I fell asleep as the pics were loading last night. January 7th is the day that Ethiopians celebrate the birth of Christ so Melkam Gena means Merry Christmas. We didn't celebrate Ethiopian Christmas this year, unless you count working all day on house projects to get ready to bring our little Ethiopian home celebrating. We plan to incorporate some traditions into our home next year.

I also realized that I never posted anything about our Christmas, so now seems as good a time as any. Better late than never, right? We arrived home on the Wednesday night before Christmas. When we were several hours from home my stomach started feeling awful and it didn't really feel better until December 28th. I learned one way to avoid holiday weight gain is to take a trip to Africa right before the holidays.

So, this was just a strange Christmas for me. I was exhausted, didn't feel well, and I had just left my youngest child in Africa. We had a good Christmas, but it was just different. I also didn't take many pictures at all.

Friday Justin's brother and his wife, Kelsey came to stay with us for a couple of days. His sister also came. It was good visiting with them. They brought the boys these super cute Angry Birds hats.
Jax liked helping me open my gifts.
Aunt Kelsey giving Sawyer some love. I just noticed how odd the dog looks. I think he was trying to jump on the couch.
Mia got a few gifts too that night. Here is Jax showing off his little sister's dress.
The next night was Christmas Eve. We went to Justin's grandparents' house to be with all of his family. I think this is the only decent pic I got on Christmas Eve. Sawyer cuddling with his aunt Kelsey and Uncle Jon. In case you are reading and don't know, my husband has an identical twin. I wouldn't want you to think he has his hand on some other woman's leg. =)
I am ashamed to say that I left my camera at Justin's grandparents house, so I don't have one single picture from Christmas morning. We had a good Christmas morning with our boys. It was just the 4 of us most of Christmas day, so after church we took the boys to see Happy Feet 2. Then we celebrated with a pizza party for Jesus's birthday.

Here are some of the gifts little Miss Mia Grace got this year. Uncle Jon and Aunt Kelsey got this frame for us to put our first picture together in. I just love Uncle Jon's art work!
Justin picked out this sweet rag doll for our Mia Grace. I can't wait to give it to her. I hope she likes it!
Justin and Jon's birthday is the day after Christmas. We celebrated with a delicious dinner at Kelsey's parent's house and then we all went bowling. You would think I would have a picture of the birthday boys, but no, just a picture of Jax and Aunt Samantha at the bowling alley.
So, this is the update from our jet lagged Christmas. It was simple, but it was a good time with family and thanking God for sending His son, Jesus.

Praise Him

2012-01-06T19:35:00.000-08:00

Today, I have been missing my daughter a ton. I miss her everyday, but today was hard and I don't know why. I do know that I had a good cry in my car in the grocery store parking lot. The waiting and not knowing when she will be home is so hard. There are still a lot of things that need to happen before we hear that we can go bring her home. I am so ready to hear that things are at least moving along.

I don't want this post to be a sad one, though. There are hard days in adoption, but I praise the Lord everyday because He has allowed us to adopt our daughter.

Before Justin and I were even married we talked about adoption. After we were married and looked into adoption, we decided we would adopt internationally one day when we had enough money saved. In 2009 we knew that we still wanted to adopt and decided we needed to come up with a plan to make that happen. 2009 is also the year our daughter was born in Ethiopia. I don't think it's a coincidence. I just think God was at work.

We came up with a plan. The plan was when Jax was old enough to start preschool I would go back to work and we would continue to live on Justin's sallary. We would save all of my income so that we could pay for an adoption. We thought that sounded like a good plan. I still don't think there is anything at all wrong with that plan. The only problem was it wasn't God's plan for us. As we started looking into country programs and adoption agencies, we knew the Lord didn't want us to wait until we had "enough" money. We knew He wanted us to start then.

We met many adoptive parents who told us that if God was calling us to adopt then He would provide the money. We decided that we would cut back where we could, take some out of savings, and trust God for the rest.

Let me just tell you, all of those people were right. We trusted God to provide and He has provided all we need and more!! We have been blessed by the obedience and generosity of His people. We have been amazed again and again by the perfect timing of our Heavenly Father. When we started the adoption, we decided that above all else, we desired for the Lord to be glorified in our lives. No matter how things turned out, we wanted God to get the glory.

We know without a doubt that God provided everything we needed to bring our daughter, a little girl He created in His image, home. The Lord provided in various ways, but most recently, we were given an opportunity to receive a matching grant with Brittany's Hope. We had to raise $5,000 in order to receive the matching $5,000. We found out today that we met our grant and we will receive $10,000 for our adoption expenses. Praise the Lord!

God has provided every step of the way, but it doesn't mean there haven't been bumps in the road. Just today we had to replace our entire heating and cooling unit in our home. It was not cheap!! We did not expect this and the timing seems awful. If this would have happened 2 years ago, I would have been crying and wondering how we would pay for it. I was tempted to do this yesterday, but I know that it isn't a surprise to the Lord and that He has been so faithful. I can't do anything else, but thank Him for the way He has provided. We have had unexpected car trouble, house repairs, and medical expenses. Those things have not been fun, but we have learned that our God is greater than the troubles of life.

We are firm believers that if God calls you to something, He will provide a way!

Glorify the LORD with me; let us exalt his name together. I sought the Lord and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Psalm 34: 3-4

Butterflies

2012-01-03T18:59:00.000-08:00

Before Justin and I knew that Mia M was our daughter, we were praying for her. We were seeking the Lord and asking him if the sweet little girl who we knew very little about was the child he had picked out for our family. One day as I was driving and praying a butterfly flew in front of my car. In that moment, I felt the Lord speak to my heart and tell me that He was with our daughter and that He was transforming her. I knew in that moment that the Lord wanted to transform Mia M from an orphan to a daughter.

Soon after this, we officially accepted the referral for our daughter. During the months leading up to our first trip to Ethiopia, I seemed to see butterflies everywhere I went. Every time I see a butterfly I pray for our daughter. I am reminded that the Lord is transforming her. I know He is changing me as well.

When Mia was moved to Hannah's Hope, she was put in the "butterfly room." She has butterflies painted on the walls in her room. I think it is very fitting.

This is a picture of the wall in her room. When we met our daughter we were amazed at how different she was from what we were told about her. We were expecting a very shy, scared, and reserved little girl. This is not at all what we saw and we were pleasantly surprised. We were told that when she first arrived at Hannah's Hope she was scared of everyone especially the men. Now, she walks around giving hugs and kisses to all of the workers. She is so loving to everyone she sees. The Lord is working in our daughter's life and it is such a blessing to witness!

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. Phil 1:6

New Years Interview 2012

2012-01-02T17:17:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year. Interviewing my children at the beginning of each year has become a tradition for us. This is the third year for me to do this. It is really fun to see what things have changed and what has stayed the same. The boys really enjoy doing this and I love that I have a record of their thoughts and favorite things from each year. You can read the last two years here and here. The first one I ever did was when they were 2 and 3 and it's hilarious to go back and read now.

This year Sawyer is 5.5 and Jaxon is 4. Without further ado, here is our 2012 interview.

What is your name? S: Sawyer J:Jaxon
When were you born? S:March 26th J:September
How old are you? S:5 J:3
Who is your mommy? S:laughed and said, "uh, you." (duh mom) J: Meredith!
Who is your daddy? S:Justin J: Justin
What does your Mommy do? S: teaches J: cleans up
What do you love about Mommy? S: that she loves me J: When I give her hugs and kisses (he said the same thing las year. my boy loves his hugs and kisses.)
What does your daddy do? S: works with mics and stuff (he is a media director at our church) J:works at church
What do you love about Daddy? S:that he plays Mario with me J: give him hugs and kisses too
What is your favorite color? S:Blue J: Green and blue
What do you want to be when you grow up? S: a policeman and a builder J: the incredible hulk
What is your favorite food? S Macaroni and cheese and corn dogs J: chicken legs and jello
What food do you not like? S: some kinds of chicken J: chicken legs with sauce
What is your favorite animal? S: monkeys J: tigers and gorillas
Where do you want to live when you grow up? S:at this same house with Mommy and Daddy J:here at this house (our future looks grim. at least we will be well protected by our police officer and incredible hulk.)
What do mommy and daddy do after you go to bed? S: watch movies J: walk around (this answer cracks me up)
What is your favorite song? S: Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer J:The People of Wal-Mart (Please don't judge me for this one. My sister-in-law showed them this video last week and he hasn't stopped singing it. Thankfully, the only words he remembers are "we are the people of wal-mart." BTW, I don't recommend showing this video to your preschooler. Like I said, don't judge me.=) )
What is your favorite movie? S: Cars and Cars 2 J: Incredible Hulk and Captain America (he has never seen either of these movies. when I asked him why he chose movies he had never seen he said, "These will be my favorite movies when I am big and watch them.")
What is your favorite kind of ice cream? S: strawberry J: chocolate and banilla
Where is your favorite place to eat? S: McDonalds J: McDonalds and Chuck E. Cheese
Who is your favorite person? S: Chuck E. Cheese (Last year his favorite person was me. I have to say I am a little sad that I have been demoted by a mouse. ) J: Max and Andrew
Who is your best friend? S:Tristan, Wesley, Dillon, Kaleb, and Jolie J: Ruston, my favorite baby
What is your favorite toy? S: Wii Games J: My Incredible Hulk toy that I loosed
What is your favorite book? S: Arthur's Christmas J:my new ones I got for Christmas
Who is your brother? S: Jaxon J: Sawyer, that was an easy one
What do you like to do with your brother? S: play Wii games J: play Mario
What is your favorite thing to do? S:Play Wii games J: play Mario
What does your brother like to do? S: Play Wii games (Do you see a trend?) J: get presents

I added a couple of new questions this year.

Who is your sister? S:Mia, but she is not here yet. J:Baby Mia, my pretty girl (I love this sweet answer)

What will you like to do with your sister when she gets home? S: play with her J: take bubble baths

What is your favorite thing you did in 2011? S: swimming (I'm surprised he didn't say play wii games) J: do fireworks with Jolie, Sarah, and Ruston, my buddy

2011 was a great year. It was the year the Lord led us to our daughter. It was the year we got to meet her and legally become a family of 5. Now, we are looking forward to 2012. Next year I will have three little ones to interview. Happy New Year to you and yours!

Our Last Day in Ethiopia

2011-12-30T15:06:00.000-08:00

I woke up at about 3:30 on Tuesday morning. I could not go back to sleep and my mind was racing. The reality that we were going to have to say goodbye to Mia and leave her hit me so hard. I was really emotional. I tried so hard to go back to sleep, because I knew it would be a long day, but I just couldn't.

We were picked up by the AGCI driver and taken to Hannah's Hope. This time it was so special, because two families joined us who were going to pick up their sweet children. We were able to take pictures and witness the reunion of these families. It was so wonderful to be a part of their special moment and it was a great reminder to me that we will be coming back (hopefully soon) to get our girl.

We spent the morning playing with M. She liked filling the toy box with all the toys, then taking them out, and repeating. Everyday I brought toys for her to play with. On the last day I brought a notebook and pen, so that I could write down her clothing sizes. She wanted to see the notebook and pen, so I let her play with it for a while. She loved it. She sat still for a long time "writing". I will be sure to pack a notebook and crayons for our long flight home with her.
We also spent time looking at the photo book we brought her. She carried it around for a long time. I showed her the pictures of us and her brothers. I can't wait for her to meet her brothers. I just know she is going to love them.

As always, our time at Hannah's Hope went by too quickly, and it was time to go back to the hotel for lunch. After lunch we bought a goat(or maybe it was a sheep) to take to the orphanage where Mia spent the first 2.5 years of her life. Purchasing and delivering a goat was quite interesting. I think I need to do a whole post just about that experience.

We were able to visit with her first caregiver and see the place she lived. Then, we went back to Hannah's Hope for our final visit with our girl. When I walked in she had just finished her bath and her special mother was dressing her. She looked so cute and her hair was down for the first time since we met her. She looked beautiful with all her curls. When she saw us, she said the word for shoes in Amharic and kept saying it over and over. She wanted her shoes on so she could go outside and play with us. She loves to play outside! We played for a while until we were told it was time to go. My heart just sank when they told us it was time to say goodbye and I immediately had to fight the tears from coming.
We gave her lots of hugs and kisses, tried to take some last minute pictures, and then walked our sweet girl up the stairs to her room. I am so thankful for her special mothers, and I know without a doubt that she is in good hands at Hannah's Hope, but it was so hard to let her go.
It is hard even now, as I remember those feelings. I pray she remembers us and that she is happy to see us when we return. I pray that the time passes quickly and that she will soon be in our arms again.

We had an incredible trip to Ethiopia. The Lord answered so many of our prayers and I know He will continue to.

Leaving our daughter in Ethiopia is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, but the Lord was with us, and He gave me an indescribable peace. I know that leaving just brought us one step (one really hard step) closer to bringing her home.

Monday in Ethiopia: The Day She Became Ours

2011-12-29T13:04:00.000-08:00

Justin and I both woke up before 5 am on Monday morning. We felt very rested and couldn't fall back asleep. We were so excited and a little nervous about our court appointment. We met the Smith's for breakfast and it turns out they both got up very early, as well. We were all anxious to get to court.

When we got to court we met our case worker. We introduced ourselves and he gave us a little overview of what to expect. We waited in a room with many other adoptive families and birth families. There were way more people than seats in this room, so we stood up most of the time. There were signs all over the room that said "Silence" in different languages. Some people talked softly, but for the most part we were all just quietly looking around. We waited for about 2 hours and it seemed much longer than that.

I started to get very nervous as we waited. The door to the judge's office would open and they called a name. Every time the door open all eyes and ears were on the person calling out names. I thought they would never call our name.

Around 11:00 they finally called the name of our orphanage and we, the Smiths, and our case worker went into the small room. We sat down and the judge asked who was who. We told her and then she asked us a few simple questions.

Judge: Do you have any children?

Us: Yes

Judge: Do they know about the adoption?

Us: Yes

Judge: Are your children ok with the fact that you are adopting from Ethiopia? (or something along these lines)

Us: Yes

Judge: Have you learned about Ethiopia?

Us: Yes

Judge: Do you plan to teach your child about where they come from?

Us: Yes

Judge: Do you know other families adopting from Ethiopia?

Us: Yes

Judge: Have you met the child you are planning to adopt?

Us: Yes

Judge: Do you realize that this adoption is irreversible?

Us: Yes

Judge: Do you want to adopt the child?

Us: Yes

Judge: Ok, all of your paperwork is in order and they are all yours.

Just like that, we became a family of five. It was so surreal. I could not believe my ears.
We were all so happy and as we left the court room and came outside we couldn't help, but all hug each other. We even hugged our case worker who probably thought we were crazy. Justin and I took our first picture as parents of three.

After court we went to eat at an Italian restaurant and then we went to the market.
I think our market experience was a little unusual, because we only went to one shop. None of us complained though, because we were able to get what we needed and we were all so anxious to get back to our kids.

When we got to Hannah's Hope I was so happy to see Mia. She had just taken her bath and smelled like lotion. It was such a sweet smell. She was ready to play.
One of her favorite things to do while we were there was to hold Justin's hand and walk all around the court yard. She would say, "Papa" and then he repeated her and this went on for a while. It was so cute. She loves her Daddy so much! I really think she is going to be quite the Daddy's girl and this is fine with him.
Justin is such a good dad to our boys and I always knew he would be a great daddy to a little girl, too. He attempted to play the guitar for her. One of the strings broke as soon as he started playing. She loves music and her daddy does too. They are a match made in heaven, these two!
After we walked, danced, and played on the swings, our little girl was exhausted. She let me hold her for a long time. I took her into the baby room where she just let me hold her quietly. It was so sweet. Justin came in and sat beside us, and she just nestled her head into him. It was a great moment for all of us.
You can tell from this picture how exhausted we all were. It had been a really long, but really good, day. A part of me was hoping if we just sat quiet enough in this room, no one would come and tell us it was time to go. Unfortunately, this was not the case, and our snuggle time was cut short. We took her upstairs and gave her to her special mothers. Fortunately, there were no tears this time.

When we got back to the hotel, I became very overwhelmed with emotion and exhaustion. I couldn't believe that she was really our daughter. I also couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that we had to say goodbye and leave her there the very next day. I knew that Tuesday was going to be the hardest day.

Sunday in Ethiopia

2011-12-27T13:40:00.000-08:00

It has been exactly one week since we said goodbye to our daughter and left Ethiopia. I am so glad we were able to celebrate Christmas with our family. It was a good Christmas, but it was also hard to be so far away from our daughter. It has been hard to get back to normal. I'm not really sure what normal is right now. We are kind of caught in the middle of our old life before Mia and our new life with her. I am so ready to have her home!

I do want to go back and document more about our trip. I last told you about our first day with our daughter, so now I will write a little about our second full day in Ethiopia.

After our wonderful first day with Mia, we went to bed that evening so thankful to God for His goodness. I slept really good that night, probably the best I slept the whole trip. I woke up on Sunday morning feeling ok until I stood up. I was really queasy and dizzy. I slowly got ready and decided to skip breakfast downstairs. Justin met the Smith's for breakfast and had some hot tea sent upstairs to me.

I kept praying that I would feel better, so that I could enjoy my time with Mia. I felt ok, but not great, when we left to go to Hannah's Hope. Mia met us in the court yard again and she was ready to play. We had another fun day with her. She loved blowing bubbles, dancing, and running all around. She is such a busy girl with a big personality. She had fun walking all over the courtyard holding Justin's hand. It was so sweet.

We also learned something new about our daughter. She does not like to share!!! I know this is typical of most two year olds, but I believe it is exaggerated for her because she has never had anything that really belongs to her. When we first got to Hannah's Hope, she picked up a book and carried it around for a while. After a while, she got tired of the book and put it down. Justin started rolling a ball back and forth to her. She was playing happily, when out of the corner of her eye, she saw a little boy pick up "her" book. She started screaming and ran over to get her book back. The special mother that was watching made the little boy give the book back to Mia. Even after she got her book back, she was so upset. This was the first time we saw her really unhappy. It was hard to watch her so distraught, but it also gave us a chance to comfort her. She allowed me to hold her and rock her and she began to calm down.

Justin and I were able to have a really sweet moment with her as I held her and we sang "Jesus Loves Me". She just sat quietly and looked back and forth into our eyes. It was so nice to just hold her and rock her. I had to fight back tears as I thought about the fact that she didn't have a mom to hold her, rock her, and sing to her for the first 2 years of her life. I feel like I have missed so many special moments with her. Adoption is beautiful and full of joy, but there are also moments of sadness mixed in. As I sat and rocked my sweet girl, I was filled with joy and sadness at the same time.

We were able to feed M her lunch and play with her all by ourselves while the other babies were going down for their naps. We probably kept her up a little too late from nap, because she was exhausted by the time we left. When it was time for us to take her inside for her nap, she did not want to go. She screamed and threw a fit. It was so hard for me to walk her up those stairs and put her in her crib. She held onto me and cried and cried. Again, I had to fight back tears. Her sweet special mothers helped calm her down and soon she was happy again. We took a few pictures with her special mothers and then told her goodbye for the day. It was really hard for me to leave that day. I wish we could have stayed all day.

We went back to the hotel and got some lunch. I was still feeling a little queazy, but I forced myself to eat. I ate minestrone soup and drank a glass bottled coke (the best coke I ever tasted), and almost immediately felt better. We spent our afternoon relaxing and taking a long nap.

That evening our driver, Wass, took us to a cultural dinner.

We had a very fun and memorable evening with the Smiths. The Smiths were our travel buddies for the trip. They were there meeting their sweet little boy. I am so glad we were able to travel with them and become dear friends.
I love the way we washed our hands at the table. I think I should start doing this at home with my boys to make sure they was their hands before we eat.
I don't know why I cut off Wass's head, but here he is telling us all about the Ethiopian food we were about to eat. This was my first taste of Ethiopian food and it was pretty good. I don't know if it is something I would want to eat every day, but I liked most of it.
My favorite part of the whole experience was watching the performers. They were amazingly talented.
Wass was called up on stage to dance. He was really good and it was obvious he had previous experience. Then the dancer on stage said to Wass that since he had danced with his girl, now he was going to come take one of his girls. Well, I had no idea this is what the man said, and was in shock when he came to our table and took me by the hand. He literally dragged me to the stage as I yelled, "no, no, no." I could not believe I was standing on the stage in front of all those people about to perform and Ethiopian dance. Oh, my goodness, I still can't believe it.

If you are my friend on facebook, you probably already saw my sad attempt at dancing. It really was a lot of fun and we got a lot of laughs. At one point, when I was dancing, I looked at the audience, and everyone was laughing hysterically. How nice, that I was able to be the comic relief for the evening. Ha!! I like to think that Mia would have been proud of her mommy. I will have to show her my dancing some time.

All in all, our second day in Ethiopia was a good one. It was hard to believe that we were already half way done with our trip. The next day, Monday, was our court appointment. We went to bed that evening praising God for our time with our daughter, and praying that we would pass court the next day.

What's Next?

2011-12-22T16:20:00.000-08:00

Last week Justin and I traveled across the world, met our beautiful daughter,
spent time with her and fell in love,
attended court where we were told, "she is all yours."
Then we said good bye and left a part of our hearts in Ethiopia.
Of course this is the abbreviated version of our week and I will write more details of our trip soon. The question everyone asks is when do we get to bring her home. The answer is we don't really know, but we can tell you what has to happen next.

We will wait to hear that our file has been to submitted to the U.S. embassy in Ethiopia. This has been taking most families about 2 weeks, but it could be longer for us since our 2 weeks falls on New Years.

Then, we will wait for the embassy to review our case. We really don't know how long this will take.

When everything is clear with the embassy we will be given an embassy date and travel dates.

We are hoping to travel at the end of January, but it could take longer. For now, we just wait and pray. We are pretty good at that, by now. :)

Meeting Our Daughter

2011-12-18T06:01:00.001-08:00

I am sitting in my hotel room in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. We arrived here safely Friday night. It was a long trip, and we were so glad to finally be here. We slept pretty good that night, but it was not easy, because we were both so excited about meeting our daughter on Saturday morning.

Saturday was an incredible day, the day we dreamed of for so long. I really didn't know what to expect with meeting our daughter. We had heard that she was shy and reserved. We heard that she was a little bit afraid of people and we expected it to take her a while to warm up to us. When we went downstairs for breakfast we met another couple who had spent the week visiting their two children at Hannah's Hope. They told us that Mia M was very sweet and that she went around saying, "mama, mama." This made me very happy, but I still didn't know what to expect.

After breakfast, our driver arrived and we and another couple, who have become dear friends in the past couple of days, loaded into the van. It was such a surreal feeling to actually be here and Ethiopia about to meet our children. The van pulled up to the famous black gate of Hannah's Hope and I could barely contain my excitement.

Justin spotted Mia M almost immediately. When we got out of the van I saw her too. I started walking towards her and her special mother's (her caregivers at Hannah's Hope) pointed to me and told Mia, "It's Mama." She ran ( or walked very quickly) to me saying, "Mama, Mama" and gave me a kiss on my cheek. I could not believe it. She was smiling and laughing. It was sooooooo amazing!

She then played a game with me where she would give me a high five and laugh. Her laugh is incredible! Before this trip, I had only 2 pictures of her smiling, and it is a very sweet, shy smile. Since, we have been here, we have taken so many pictures of her smiling. She laughs and smiles constantly.

We were told that when she first came to Hannah's Hope (just a few weeks ago) that she was afraid of everyone and cried a lot. Now, she loves everyone and is so happy in her new home. We also love everyone we have met here. The special mothers and other workers and just heaven sent. I am so thankful for them.

We had a phenomenal first day with our daughter. I was on cloud 9 the entire time. She gave us lots of kisses, said mama and daddy, and showed us her really cute dance moves. Poor thing was dancing so much, that at one point, she danced herself right into a bucket of soapy water. I had to fish her out quickly and go upstairs to change her clothes.

She is so cute and I wish I could show the many pictures of her great big smile, but we can't post pictures until she is home. When it was time for us to leave yesterday, we took her upstairs to her bedroom. I lay her in her bed for a nap and she waved, blew us a kiss, and said "chow."

We are so thankful to the Lord for uniting us with our daughter. He is so, so good!

"The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy!!!" Psalm 126:3

Testing

2011-12-14T19:52:00.000-08:00

We leave for Ethiopia tomorrow!!! I am testing this to see if I can post to blogger from my e-mail account. Hopefully we will be able to update our blog while we are away.

Hope Remains Auction and Giveaway Results

2011-12-13T18:50:00.000-08:00

Our on-line auction closed on Sunday and I am just now getting around to posting. Things have been crazy around here, because we leave for Ethiopia in 2 days!!!! I already contacted all of the winners and I sent the packages today, so if you were a top bidder, you should receive your items soon. I posted all of the auction winners on the previous auction posts.

Jax helped me draw the winner for the paper bead necklace.

It was Jessica Moore!! Thanks for bidding, Jessica!
Thank you to all of you who bid on items or shared about our auction. We were very happy with the results.

We raised $470!!!! We also had some very generous friends match all of our profits in the auction. As if that isn't good enough, Brittany's Hope Foundation will match everything we made as well.

We are continually amazed at the way God has provided for this adoption. He is so good and we give him all the glory.

I also have to thank my friends, James and Stephanie, again for donating all of the items for our auction. I pray the Lord richly blesses you!

Now, I need to get back to my to-do list. I don't know if I will post again before we leave. I can't wait to share stories about our daughter and our time in Africa.

Pictures for our Girl

2011-12-10T13:18:00.001-08:00

The only thing we are able to take to leave with Mia Grace is a photo album with pictures of her new family. We chose a soft album that she can hold and cuddle while she looks at the pictures of us. We will also include a few pictures of her, so that she knows she is a part of our family. My friend, Megan took a few new pictures of us to give to our girl. We love her so much and I know it may be a lot to ask from a pic, but I hope she can see how much we love and want her.

Mommy and Daddy are so ready to meet our little girl. Just one more week until we will be holding her in our arms!
Mia Grace's two big brothers are ready for their little sister to be home.
Jaxon is ready to be a big brother although I am sure it won't be easy for him to give up his place as baby of our family.
Sawyer is already a really good big brother, but he is excited about a little sister. Yesterday as we were decorating the Christmas tree, he said, "Mia is going to love being here for Christmas next year. It will be everything she ever dreamed of!" I kind of doubt she is dreaming about Christmas as our house, but it did warm my heart to know that my son thinks Christmas at our house is a special time that he wants to share with his little sister.
I can't wait to add one more face to our family pictures!

One Year Ago

2011-12-07T10:58:00.001-08:00

Last year, on December 7th, we found out that we were officially on the wait list for our daughter. It was such an exciting day. The boys and I celebrated with a cookie cake.

I had no idea that one year later, we would be getting ready to go meet our girl in 1 week and 1 day. Can you believe we leave one week from tomorrow?

This has been a long year of praying, waiting, and wondering about our daughter, but now we get to meet her and tell her how much we love her. Yay!!!

Yesterday, I posted an auction with lots of awesome gifts from Ethiopia, so be sure to check it out.

Hope Remains Auction and Giveaway

2011-12-06T18:22:00.000-08:00

I am very excited about our first ever on-line auction. We leave for Ethiopia in 9 days, so what better way to celebrate than with an auction with lots of special items from Ethiopia. Everything was given to us by our friends James and Stephanie. Go here to read more about our friends and about why we are doing this auction. Of course, all of the proceeds will go to help us bring our daughter home from Ethiopia. What's even better, is that the proceeds will be matched with a grant from Brittany's Hope.

So, without further ado. Here are the details of the auction.

1. Click on the following links to see the items we have up for bid.

2. Place your bid in the comment section.

3. The bid price includes shipping.

4. Please leave your e-mail address, so that I contact you if you win.

5. The auction will close Sunday December 11 at 8:00 central time.

6. We will ship the items before we leave next week, so you will have them in plenty of time for Christmas.

Auction Items:

#1. Little Girl's Traditional Ethiopian Dress and Head Scarf

#2. Puzzle, Stuffed Giraffe, and Flag

#3: Set of 3 Scarves

#4: CDs, DVD, and Ethiopian Flag

#5: Blue Scarf and Necklace Set

#6: Orange and Blue Scarf and Necklace

#7: Green Flowered Scarf and Necklace

#8: Amharic Bible and Two Wooden Crosses

#9: Purse and Key Chain

#10: Two Paper Bead Necklaces

If that's not enough we will also be giving away one of the paper bead necklaces shown above. All you have to do to be entered in the giveaway is to bid on an auction item or share our auction on your blog, facebook, or twitter. Just leave a comment on this post telling me where you shared. You will get one entry for every share. You will also get one entry for every item you bid on.

Thanks for helping us bring our daughter home.

Hope Remains

2011-12-06T14:03:00.000-08:00

We are hosting our very first on-line auction and I am very excited about it. All of the items featured in this auction are from Ethiopia. We have some wonderful items that will make great Christmas gifts or special prizes for yourself.

All of the items were given to us by our friends, James and Stephanie. James and Stephanie were in the Ethiopia program to adopt a daughter. Their adoption journey did not go as planned and they lost four referrals. They recently decided to withdraw from the Ethiopia program. As you can imagine this has been a very difficult time for them. My heart breaks for them and it really is so hard to understand why this has happened.

Stephanie contacted me a few weeks ago to ask if I would like the items they bought when they traveled to Ethiopia. She wanted to give us the items, so we could sell them and use the money to help bring our daughter home. I have to be honest, at first I did not want to accept the items. I knew they were meant for the their daughter, but she really wanted us to have them. I am humbled and honored that in the midst of their pain, they have chosen to bless our family and our daughter with this gift.

A few weeks ago, Justin and I received a matching grant from Brittany's Hope. Brittany's Hope is a grant organization that helps adoptive parents bring home their special needs' children. Brittany's Hope was created to honor the founder's adoptive daughter, Brittany, who passed away in 1999. All of the money we make in this auction will be matched by Brittany's Hope.I think the story of Brittany's Hope and the story of James and Stephanie are similar. They are both stories of hope in the midst of pain.

Please pray for our friends, James and Stephanie. They are trying to figure out what their next steps are and I know they want to follow after the Lord. You can visit their blog, Life in the Gateway City, to read more of their story.

I plan to post the auction items tonight, so stay tuned.

#10 Two Paper Bead Necklaces: Closed

2011-12-06T05:05:00.000-08:00

Winner: Brenda Handy

The bid is for 2 paper beed necklaces. The third necklace I will give away. Every one who bids in this auction will be automatically entered to win the necklace. I will also enter everyone who blogs about the auction or shares it on facebook or twitter. If you want to be entered in the giveaway, go here.

Starting Bid for 2 Magazine necklaces: $20

Please Bid in increments of $5

(Post Bid in Comments Section)

#9: Purse and Key Chain: Closed

2011-12-06T05:01:00.000-08:00

Winner: Leslie Young

This small purse would make a great gift for a little girl. It also comes with an Ethiopian key chain.

Starting Bid: $10

Please Bid in increments of $5

(Post Bid in comments section)

#8: Amharic Bible and 2 Wooden Crosses: Closed

2011-12-06T04:57:00.000-08:00

Winner: Molly
This set is very special. This Amharic Bible is so beautiful. It is written in Amharic, the language of Ethiopia. It also comes with 2 wooden Ethiopian crosses.

Starting Bid:$25

Please bid in increments of $5

(Post bid in comments section)

#7: Green Scarf with Flowers + Brown and Silver Necklace: Closed

2011-12-06T04:54:00.000-08:00

Winner: Misty Halley

Here is another beautiful scarf and necklace set. This is a large scarf with beautiful flowers. This necklace is made by the women of Yezelalem Minch.

Starting Bid: $25

Please Bid in increments of $5

(Post bid in the comment section)

#6: Orange and Blue Scarf + Necklace: Closed

2011-12-06T04:49:00.000-08:00

Winner: Leslie Young

The picture does not do this scarf justice. It is so beautiful and very colorful (not just orange and blue). It is a long scarf with many different patterns. I really wanted to keep this one for myself. It's my favorite. This necklace was also made by the women of Yezelalem Minch.

Starting Bid:$25

Please Bid in Increments of $5

(Post bids in comments section)

#5: Blue Scarf and Necklace Set: Closed

2011-12-06T04:39:00.000-08:00

Winner: Beth

This is a beautiful set that would make a great Christmas gift. The necklace was made by women who are part of a ministry in Addis Ababa called Yezelalem Minch. Yezeleam Minch is a an organization that ministers to at-risk children in Ethiopia. They do sponsorship for children as well as provide free meals for families.

Starting Bid: $25

Please bid in increments of $5

(Post your bid in the comments section)

#4: CDs, DVD, and Ethiopian Flag: Closed

2011-12-06T04:36:00.000-08:00

Winner: Amy @ Filled With Praise
This package includes 2 cds and a DVD purchased at a Christian Bookstore in Ethiopia. It also comes with an Ethiopian flag

Starting Bid: $10

Please bid in increments of $1

(Post bid in comments section)

#3: Set of 3 Scarves: Closed

2011-12-06T04:33:00.000-08:00

Winner: Skylar Robinson

These beautiful scarves were made in Ethiopia. I love the colors in all of them. These would make great Christmas gifts or you could keep 1 (or all 3) for yourself.

Starting Bid: $25

Bid in increments of $5

(Post Bid in the Comments Section)

#2 Toys and Ethiopian Flag: Closed

2011-12-06T04:30:00.000-08:00

Winner: TitusHome

This would be a great gift for a preschooler. The set includes a stuffed giraffe, a camel puzzle, and an Ethiopian flag.

Opening Bid:$15

Please Bid in increments of $5

(Post Bid in Comments Section)

#1.Little Girl's Traditional Ethiopian Dress and Head Scarf: Closed

2011-12-06T04:20:00.000-08:00

Winner: Titus Home

This is a beautiful traditional Ethiopian dress and coordinating head scarf. I am not sure of the size, but would probably fit a 3-5 year old.

Starting Bid: $25

Please bid in increments of $5

(Leave your bid in the comments section)

Our Weekend

2011-12-05T07:04:00.000-08:00

The end of last week consisted of us preparing for our garage sale. Our wonderful friends donated items. I wish I had a before pic of all the stuff. It was a ton of stuff!!! Thankfully, we had wonderful friends, like Megan below, to help sort and price the stuff. There is no way Justin and I could have done it without them.
Here are a couple of pictures of just some of the merchandise.

Saturday was a beautiful day and we had customers all morning. We put a picture of our daughter out so everyone could see who they were helping us bring home.
It was a great day and our grand total was $1551.51! Praise God for continuing to provide.

Last night, we went to our children's musical at church. Sawyer did a great job as a singing shepherd boy!

The God Who Sees

2011-12-01T18:35:00.000-08:00

Every other Wednesday morning I go to a women's Bible study. It is a sweet time of fellowship with a wonderful group of ladies. We are currently going through Angela Thomas's "Brave" together.

This week's study was titled, "I am invisible." We walked through Genesis 16 where God appears to Hagar in the desert after she fleas from Sarah. Hagar calls God, "El Roi" or "the God who sees." It was a good reminder to all of us stay at home moms that we are valued and that even when it seems like we are invisible, the Lord sees us.

As I did the study I couldn't help but think about my daughter who has spent much of her life in a crib. It is all she knew, but she must have felt invisible at times. My heart just breaks for her, but God reminds me daily that He sees her. He has always seen her and He loves her more than I could ever imagine.

On day two of the Bible Study, Angela instructs us to put our name into Psalm 121:3-8. I felt the Lord leading me to write this out for my daughter. I wrote the following verses in my prayer journal. I used her Ethiopian name, but since I can't share it yet I will use Mia Grace.

"[Mia Grace,] He who watches over you will not slumber, indeed, He who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. [Mia Grace,] the Lord watches over you-the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. [Mia Grace,] the Lord will keep you from all harm-He will watch over your life, the Lord will watch over your coming and your going both now and forevermore." (Ps 121:3-8)

What Could be Crazier?

2011-11-30T06:16:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is December 1st! Yay! I love Christmas and of course December 2011 is the month we get to meet our daughter, so we are so excited! This is really going to be a great month and I am trying to enjoy every moment, but I am also freaking out about all that we have to do in the next 2 weeks! We leave 2 weeks from tomorrow!!!!

Like I said, I love Christmas! But, I have to admit the busyness of Christmas can stress this mama out sometimes. So, throw in a trip to Africa right smack dab in the middle of everything and the stress increases just a bit. We will be gone Dec.15-21, so I am really feeling the pressure to have everything done by the 15th.

Tomorrow is December 1st and we don't have our tree up yet. We did pick it out and tag it at a Christmas tree farm, but we have yet to pick it up. I don't think we realized when we picked it out before Thanksgiving how hard it was going to be to find a spare hour to go pick it up. We have taken our Christmas card pics, but have not designed or purchased them. I am having doubts that we will get these out before we leave.

Ok, so what could make things even crazier than preparing for Christmas and a trip to Africa to meet our daughter? We are having a huge garage sale this weekend!!! We planned this a couple of months ago, before we had a court date. We are still trying to raise money for our second trip to Ethiopia, so we are having a garage sale this Saturday to try to raise some funds.

Thankfully, we have not had to do all of the planning and preparing by ourselves. Let's face it, that would be impossible. Many friends have donated their things and for that we are so thankful. We have awesome friends! Friends who let Justin borrow their vehicles to haul stuff, friends who give up their evenings to help us load and unload, friends who rented their storage building for an extra month just so we could use it, friends who gave up their one break a week from their kids to help sort and price. I love our friends!!!

If you are local and would like to donate your stuff or your time to help us, please let us know. If you don't want to donate, but want to shop, please come. We have a ton of stuff! The garage sale is this Sat. Dec.3rd at the ULM BCM.

If you are not local, but would like to contribute to our adoption, you are in luck. As if life isn't crazy enough, we are also planning another fundraiser, which I hope to be able to post about soon. You will have a chance to buy some awesome gifts from Ethiopia, so stay tuned.

So, as busy as we are, we are still taking the moments we have to enjoy this season with our precious boys.

Tis the season for hot cocoa with gingerbread marshmallows and whip cream. Yummy!!

Life is crazy for us right now, but life is also good. God is with us and he continues to provide for this adoption every step of the way. I am thankful for His blessings. I am also thankful for a hard working husband and kids who don't mind eating cereal for dinner.

Answered Prayer!!!

2011-11-23T19:36:00.000-08:00

We are rejoicing today, because God answered our prayers for our little girl. I shared here about the 24 hours of prayer for Mia. From Monday at noon until Tuesday at noon family, friends, and friends of friends were in constant prayer for Mia to be moved to Hannah's Hope. We were so encouraged during this time and never doubted that God heard every prayer.

This morning I received this e-mail from my sweet friend Sarah, who is was in Ethiopia this week: MEREDITH!!!! SHE IS HERE!!! AT HANNAHS HOPE!!! Her documents were finished today and I got to watch her walk into Hannahs Hope! Can you believe it?!?!?! It is a miracle! And i got to be here to witness it!

Tears were streaming down my face as I read these wonderful words. I am so, incredibly thankful to all of you who have been praying for our daughter. I just know that the Lord wanted you all to be apart of her story, the beautiful story He is writing.

We also received 2 new pictures of her today. We have not received any since August, so this was quite a treasure for us.

We are very thankful on this eve of Thanksgiving. We praise the Lord, because He heard our prayers and answered them in a mighty way!

"Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name." Psalm 100:4

Toy Bowl

2011-11-22T15:46:00.000-08:00

Last Saturday we watched Sawyer's team play in the Toy Bowl. It was the championship game for 5 year old flag football. They went in to the game undefeated, but ended up coming in second place for the year. This is the sign they ran through before the game.
Justin went down on the field to get some good action shots. Sawyer had so much fun! He is smiling in almost all the pics.
He really doesn't take himself too seriously out there, which may have annoyed the coaches some. But, he for sure enjoyed himself and encouraged his teammates. He was always patting everyone on the back and hugging his teammates after they made a good play.
I just love him. I'm not real sure that he will become a pro-football player one day, but he did have fun playing 5 year old flag football.
His team came in second place and were given silver medallions. Sawyer said, "I like silver better than gold, anyways."

We are so proud of our little football player. Jaxon really wanted to play, but he will have to wait a couple of years until he is old enough.

Prayers for Mia

2011-11-20T17:27:00.000-08:00

My four year old son, Jaxon, has not been feeling well lately. He has a nasty cough and a low grade fever. He just isn't himself. He is having trouble sleeping, so I have been putting him in my bed to sleep for the past few nights. When my kids are sick I like to keep a close eye on them. I keep them close, so I can be right there if they need me. I am there to give medicine, cuddle, wipe away tears, bring them as many popsicles they want, and give plenty of kisses. That's just what mommas do when their little ones need them.

My youngest child lives in Africa. I have no idea how she is feeling most days. I don't know if she is scared, not feeling well, etc. Our agency is very good at giving immediate updates to the adoptive parents when kids get sick. Our agencies transition home (Hannah's Hope) takes excellent care of the children. I have heard nothing but good things about Hannah's Hope. Unfortunately our daughter is not at HH, yet.

When we first received our referral we were told that she would not be able to move to HH until we passed court. Soon after we were given some hope that she would be able to move before we passed court. Over 3 weeks ago, I was told that she would probably move in the next 2 weeks. I have been praying every day that she would be able to move to HH. I just know that it is a better place for her to be. I am not there to wipe her tears,give her kisses, and let her know that she is loved. All I can do is pray that she will be moved to a place that will give her the best care possible until we can bring her home.

This week I began to grow weary in my prayers. It is hard to pray and pray for the same thing with no results. I know many of you reading are waiting for prayers to be answered and it is tough. Of course, I trust the Lord and His perfect timing. Earlier in the week I felt the Lord telling me to share my burdens with friends who understand, so I asked some of my fellow adoption moms to pray for our daughter.

Friday night, my sweet friend, Leigh, contacted me to let me know that the Lord had laid it on her heart to start a 24 hour prayer chain for Mia to be moved to HH. She started an event on FB and friends (some whom I have never met) will be praying from noon tomorrow (Nov.20) until noon on Tuesday (Nov. 21).

I am honored that so many people will be praying for our girl. I have no doubt that God will hear every prayer. He moves mountains. He truly has already worked so many miracles and moved huge mountains in our daughters life. On August 17th we first saw her picture and began to pray that God would bring her a family. On December 17th, exactly 4 months to the day, we will get to meet, hold, and love on our daughter. The Lord answers prayers!!!

If you would like to be a part of the 24 hours of prayer for Mia, please let me know.

'Tis So Sweet

2011-11-18T13:20:00.000-08:00

When I talk about our upcoming trip to Ethiopia and about all that is going on in our lives right now I usually use words like excited, happy, thankful, and blessed. These are all accurate words to describe how I am feeling. I am truly excited about meeting our daughter. I am so happy and thankful for the call to adopt God put on our hearts. I am blessed!

But there are a few other emotions I am feeling as well that aren't as fun to talk about; stressed, worried, and fearful.

Yes, I said it. I am stressed!! We have so much going on right now with preparing for our trip and the holidays and just life. I make to-do lists every day, scratch things off, and go to bed with a list longer than I started with.

I keep thinking, "I'm too blessed to be stressed." You know, I'd really like to meet the person who first coined that saying, so I could give her a good smack between the eyes. Hey, I'm just being real! I am indeed blessed, but I am also feeling stressed with a capital S.

The other pesky thing that has been creeping in is fear. Oh, fear, I thought I already dealt with you. God has been teaching me for quite a while now to trust Him in all things and to fear not. I faced my fears and said,"yes" to God when we accepted the referral of our sweet girl with special needs. God filled me with peace and I thought we could start a new lesson. Ha! I thought I could start writing a new chapter in the "things God has taught me through this adoption" book.

Apparently, God is not done with me on this subject. I am currently doing a women's Bible study by Angela Thomas called "Brave." It has been really great. Last week the study was entitled "I'm Trembling Inside." This pretty much describes where I am right now. Justin told me that our pastor is starting a new sermon series about fear. This is really starting to become humorous.

I love our daughter and I know she is meant for our family, but I am also so afraid of all of the unknowns. I know I have been very vague about her special needs and I will continue to be for now. Honestly, there is just so much we don't know and won't know until she is home. Some days I try to imagine what our life will be like when she is here, and I can't. I just have no idea how our lives will be different and it scares me. I don't know when and even if she will walk without assistance. I don't know if she will do "normal" little girl things like play dress up, take dance lessons, and go to slumber parties. Often times, I fear that I won't have what it takes to care for her.

One thing I am learning is that God is never angry at me when I am scared. When my own children are truly scared, I can never be mad at them. I want to comfort them and try my best to help them not to be afraid. I hold them and tell them I love them. How much more does my Heavenly Father want to love me and hold me when I am scared. I have felt Him nudging me to tell Him what I am afraid of, to tell Him what it is I want for our daughter, and for our family. He wants me to hand over my fears to Him.

This week I got in a car accident. The boys were with me and we are all fine. No one was injured and I think my children actually enjoyed the little adventure. Talk about feeling stressed. This was not on the to-do list, for goodness sake. It really has reminded me of my vulnerability. It has reminded me how one little mistake can have big consequences. This, of course has brought out my fears.

Last night I was driving with the boys in the car. They were being loud and I was feeling nervous. I told them to quiet down and pray for us to be safe, because Mommy was feeling nervous after our accident.

From the back seat, Sawyer calmly and quietly prayed, "God you are with us. God we know that you are with us."

Such a simple and sweet prayer from the heart of my five year old son. God doesn't promise us that life will be easy. He doesn't promise us that all of our dreams will come true. He doesn't promise us that life won't get busy and that we won't go to bed every night feeling exhausted. He doesn't promise that we won't make mistakes that have ugly consequences. But He does promise to always be with us. He promises in His word, "I will never leave you; never will I forsake you."

I pray that in the coming months as we prepare to bring our daughter home, I will remember and find comfort in the sincere words of my eldest son. "God you are with us. God we know that you are with us."

Right as I was trying to think of a title for this post the song, "'Tis So Sweet" started playing on the Ipad. Oh, how I love the Lord's timing!! Let me leave you with these sweet words.

'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus
Just to take Him at His Word
Just to rest upon His promise
Just to know Thus sayeth the Lord

O how sweet to trust in Jesus
Just to trust His cleansing blood
And in simple faith to plunge me
Neath the healing cleansing flood

Jesus Jesus how I trust him
How I've proved him o'er and o'er
Jesus Jesus precious Jesus
O for grace to trust him more

Yes, 'tis sweet to trust in Jesus
Just from sin and self to cease
Just from Jesus simply taking
Life and rest, and joy and peace

Mine

2011-11-16T03:45:00.000-08:00

We arrive in Ethiopia one month from today. I can't believe it. I am so excited! I am also a little freaked out when I think about all that we have to do in the next month. Justin is taking off next week and we are planning to get Mia's room ready. Her room is currently the guest room, and we need to transform it into a sweet little girl's room.

My friend painted this for her room and I love it. It was a complete surprise to me, but I think it will be perfect for her room.

The verse is, "...and you shall be holy to Me, for I the Lord am holy, and have separated you from the peoples, that you should be Mine." Lev:20:26

Mia's name means mine. The Lord gave us this name long before we knew who our daughter was. I didn't know at the time that our daughter was already living in an orphanage, that she had been there since she was 15 days old. I didn't know at the time that she was waiting for a mommy to say, "you are mine."

So many times I think about what her infancy and toddler years have been like and I just cry. Yes, adoption is a beautiful thing, but it begins with great pain. In a perfect world we wouldn't need adoption at all. Many times I have grieved the fact that our daughter didn't have a mother to nurse her, rock her, sing to her, read books to her, take a million pictures of her first year, and just give her the love that every single baby deserves. I hate that I missed these moments. I hate that these moments were wasted on an orphanage. It just isn't fair. My daughter deserved better than that.

But God is good and when I start to think these thoughts, He always reminds me that she is His daughter, that He was there to protect her and love her. He whispers to my heart,"she is Mine and I have been with her all along."

I am currently reading Katie Davis's book, Kisses for Katie. She wrote the following about being a Mommy and I absolutely love it.

"It's such a powerful name. Mommy means "I trust you." Mommy means "You will protect me." Mommy is for shouting when you need someone dependable and for laughing with you when you are excited; Mommy is for crying on and cuddling with when you are sad or giggling and hiding behind when you are embarrassed. Mommy is the fixer of boo-boos and the mender of broken hearts. Mommy is a comfort, a safe place. Mommy means you are mine and you are family."

I am so thankful that our daughter will soon know what it means to have a mommy. I am so thankful that she will be a part of a family for the first time in over 2 and a half years. I am thankful that God protected her and set her apart. I am so thankful that she is 'Mine".

Super Bros.

2011-11-08T14:30:00.000-08:00

I almost forgot to post pictures from Halloween last week. The Super Bufkin Brothers decided they would dress as the Super Mario Bros. this year.
They both really wanted to be Mario.
Sawyer didn't want them to both be Mario, but he didn't want to be Luigi. Jax didn't care at all if they were both Mario as long as he got to dress as Mario. I finally just told Sawyer that either they could both be Mario or he could be Luigi.

So, he compromised and dressed as Luigi. I think he ended up being very happy with his choice. Jax said if Mia Grace was here she could have dressed like Princess Peach.
We went to our church "trunk or treat" on Halloween night.

This past weekend Sawyer designed Wii characters for our whole family including his little Sis.
It's Sawyer (cracks me up that he is the tallest), Justin, Jax (gotta love those shades), Me, and Mia Grace.
I have so much to do to prepare to bring our daughter home. She may not have any clothes or a room ready, but thanks to her big brother she has her very own Wii character.

Also, we booked our plane tickets to Ethiopia!!!! Woo Hoo! We are really going to meet our baby girl next month. We leave on Dec.15 and arrive back hove Dec.21. Christmas is going to be a little crazy this year. Actually, things are probably going to be crazy for the next few months, but that's ok. We are so excited to meet our daughter!

We got a Court Date!!!

2011-11-02T16:22:00.001-07:00

I am sooooo very excited to say that we received our court date today!!! We are going to arrive in Ethiopia on December 16 and go to court on December 19. I am thrilled that we are going to meet our Mia Grace next month.

God's timing is so good and I just have to share about our call with you. Last week we started hearing about families from our agency getting court dates. I was very happy for them, but also started to get anxious. I prayed every day last week that we would get "the court date call." I never put my phone down.

Today I had a MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) meeting. Of course I took my phone, put it on vibrate, and sat it right in front of me. Well, our meeting just so happened to be about adoption. A friend that I was finally able to meet today, came to share about her adoption from Uganda. She shared a beautiful God story as tears streamed down my face. She showed a video of her husband and baby boy arriving home from Uganda. It was beautiful and all I could think about is that we are going to get to do that soon.

My home study caseworker was also there and she shared about how we can all help with orphan care in some way. It was really a great day and I could tell that many of the moms were very touched by the stories that were shared.

Then a friend asked me a question about my adoption and before I answered her I glanced at my phone to see K's name on the caller I.D. I jumped up, excused myself from the meeting, and ran out to answer the call. All the while I was thinking, I hope she isn't just calling to tell me M has an ear infection or something.

Then she said "I have an update for you and it's a good one." I shouted, "You do? Well, what is it? " Then she told me she had a court date for us and I squealed from joy and the tears started to flow."

After our brief call, I went back into the meeting and announced to all my friends that we had a court date. These are women who have prayed for us, cried with us, and rejoiced with us all along the way. They were clapping and cheering and some were crying and hugging me. It was so incredible and I will never forget that moment.

God is so good!!! Last week, I so badly wanted to receive "the call", but God knew the perfect time to answer my prayer. He chose the time that He would receive the most glory. It has been our prayer from day 1 that God would be glorified through our obedience in this adoption journey. It is our goal even more so than bringing home our daughter. We truly want God to be glorified and I love to see that He truly is. I even had a mom tell me that she was so moved and was praying about if God may be calling them to adoption.

I hope this encourages those of you who may be waiting on God for an answer. His plans and His timing are perfect and He truly wants to give good gifts to His children!!

Gifts For Our Girl

2011-10-30T19:26:00.000-07:00

Our awesome adoption agency sent us this precious little lamb for Mia Grace. It arrived with our travel packet, another journal (so glad, because I already filled my other one), and a sweet announcement card.
The lamb is sooo soft and I think our baby girl will love it. I can't wait to post a pic of her holding it one day soon.

I saw this Ethiopia doll, Rahel, about a year ago and fell in love with it. I knew I wanted one for our little girl. It is one of the Heart 4 Heart dolls that Target sales. This past weekend I went to visit my mom and she got Mia this beautiful doll as an early Christmas gift.
It will be fun to have a little girl to shop for this Christmas. Of course she won't be here yet, but we can put her gifts in her room. The plan is to get her room ready the week of Thanksgiving. There is lots to do to get ready for our sweet girl.

I am praying this will be the week that she gets to move to Hannah's Hope. I am also praying this will be the week we get a court date.

How Can you Help?

2011-10-28T04:10:00.000-07:00

We still haven't heard about our court date. It's been a hard week of waiting for me. My heart skips a beat every time the phone rings. I think 6 court dates were given out this week and we still haven't heard anything. Despite that, it is time for us to start planning for our first trip to Ethiopia. We will probably be traveling in December or early January.

We have had many people ask us what they can do to help us as we prepare for our trip. One way we are preparing is we are starting to collect donations for Hannah's Hope. Hannah's Hope is the transition home where Mia Grace will be. She isn't there yet, but we are praying she gets to move very soon. Our agency sent out an urgent needs list last week. If you can donate any of these items, we will greatly appreciate it.

Donations Items for HH:

1. Diapers (all sizes)

2. Soy-based Formula

3. Shoes and Clothing for Older Children

4. Shampoos, Conditioners, and Lotions for Older Children

5. 10-20 three-ring binders (2-3 inch)

6. Cold medications for older children and adults

7. Amoxicillin for all ages (250mg or 400mg)

8. Whole Organic Flaxseed

9. Slash Pocket Folders (photo attached)

10. Laptops, specifically one for the Ministry of Labor and Social Affairs in Mekelle, Tigray

11. 2-3 Pairs of Reading Glasses from CVS (actual prescription strength not known)

If you want to donate any of these items or anything else you think the orphanage could use, please let me know. I don't mind coming by to pick things up.

Also, we are planning to have a garage sale December 3rd at the ULM BCM. We are still trying to raise the last bit of funds for our adoption. If you would like to donate anything for our sale, we would be so thankful. Again, I don't mind picking up anything. Some sweet friends have offered to let us use their storage building to store garage sale items, so we can store whatever you would like to donate for the sale.

No More Numbers

2011-10-25T19:11:00.000-07:00

Sawyer asked me last week what our number is now for Mia. I told him we are all done with numbers, so our number is now:

He thought that was great news! Of course, I think he expected that when we were number 1,we would go get her and didn't think we would still have to wait to bring her home.

For nine months we anxiously awaited our monthly waitlist numbers. We thought we still had at least nine more months of waiting, so it is still crazy to me that we didn't get October numbers.

Since, we never got to the top of the wait list, I never had the time of waiting for a referral call.

There was no jumping every time the phone rang or thinking constantly about when we would get "the call."

Well, now that we are waiting for a court date I am definitely feeling all of that anxiety that I missed out on before. Today at least four families from our agency received court dates. They will all be traveling to Ethiopia in December to meet their children for the first time. I am so, very excited for them!!

We, however, did not receive a call today. So, no court date or travel plans for us just yet. It could still be several weeks before we hear anything or it could be tomorrow. This is so crazy! I am sure my heart is going to flip every time my phone rings between the hours of 9-7 Monday-Friday.

Praying we hear something soon. We would love to meet our girl in 2011!

Toilet Paper for Cats, Pepper Rallys, and Just Say No

2011-10-24T19:24:00.000-07:00

I don't think I ever posted any pictures from our trip to the fair a few weeks ago. I am afraid the fair trip was trumped by the acceptance of our referral for Mia. We took the boys to the fair on Jaxon's fourth birthday. He loved it and kept telling everyone that he was 4.
Justin and Sawyer were very brave with the snake. Jaxon was on the other end of the pen petting the bunnies. He didn't want to have anything at all to do with the snakes. I can't say that I blame him.
Thumbs up for mom before the dragon coaster ride started. It's not really as scary as it sounds or as Jax's face looks.

I love picking up the boys from school everyday. They always have such funny stories to tell me about their day. Things sometimes get lost in translation, which makes it even funnier. Sometimes I have to text Jax's teacher to get the real story.

One day a couple of weeks ago Jax told me, "Mom, the cats are coming to school tomorrow and I need to bring cotton balls and toilet paper for them." Me: "Why do the cats need cotton balls and toilet paper?" Jax: "To eat."

I definitely had to ask his teacher about that one. It turns out a lady from the humane society was visiting with cats. His teacher told them to bring "cat food and kitty litter." I have no idea where "cotton balls and toilet paper" came from.

When I picked him up from school the day the cats came, he was so upset. He told me that I needed to pray for the cats to find families. I told him I would when we got home. That wasn't good enough. He made me stop in the cafeteria and pray that the cats would find families. Then he told me maybe God wanted us to adopt a cat. Does anyone think our adoption may be affecting my sweet boy just a bit.

So, on Friday I picked up the boys from school and here is how our conversation went:

Sawyer: "We had a Pepper Rally at school today." aka a pep rally

Me: "You did. That's fun! Was it for Red Ribbon Week?"

Jax: "What's red ribbon week?"

Me: "Where you learn to say no to drugs." Then I immediately thought, "why did I say that? I really don't want to get into a discussion about drugs right now."

Jax: "Yea, drugs are bad. A girl in my class knows someone who got bit by a drug."

That is just another reason to Just Say No, folks!

Pumpkin Patch, Provision, and Our Princess

2011-10-21T09:52:00.000-07:00

Jax had his first ever field trip yesterday. Unfortunately I had to miss it, because of work. It's hard to take off, since I only work two days a week. Thankfully, Jaxon's best buddy, aka his daddy, was able to go with him. He made sure to take plenty of pictures for me. The class went to the pumpkin patch and then the park to play and eat lunch. When I asked Jax what his favorite part of the field trip was he said, "riding on the bus." That doesn't sound too fun to me, but I am glad he liked it.
My child is the 0ne in front making the very silly face. Gotta love him!
I am so glad Jax had a fun day with his classmates and his daddy.

Speaking of Dad's, I just have to brag on my Heavenly Daddy. He just never ceases to amaze me and right now I am seriously in awe of what He has been doing to provide for our adoption. I mentioned in my last post that from the moment we said "yes" and adopted our referral for Mia M, God has given us such peace and joy.

Well, He has continued to give us good gifts and we are so amazed at his provision for this adoption. In the two weeks since we accepted our referral, we have received $5,000. Some of it has been donations. Some has been unexpected jobs for Justin and other unexpected sources. We are blown away by the awesome love of our Father.

We still have some money to raise, but I have no doubt that God will provide every cent we need to bring our girl home. Earlier this week, the doubts and worries started to creep in. I confessed this to the Lord and asked Him to show me that He was in control. He has shown me again and again, that He is in control and that He is faithful. Still, in my humanness I sometimes doubt and I allow the fear to overtake my thoughts. He calmed me this week by providing in BIG, unexpected ways.

I want to share just one more story, before I go. A few days before we officially accepted our referral, we showed the boys the video of Mia M that our agency sent us. They were both so excited to see her and kept trying to talk to her. I had to tell them it was a video, not Skype. Jax kept kissing the screen. He said "I just love her so much. She is my princess." It was the sweetest thing and I had to fight back tears.

Mia Grace M,

You are our princess and we can't wait to have you home. Your big brother, Sawyer, wants to teach you new things and read books to you. Your other big brother, Jaxon, can't wait to shower you with hugs and kisses. He tells me every day that he wants to hug you. He sleeps with your baby doll every night to keep her safe until you come home. You will have your daddy wrapped around your little finger in no time at all. He is so in love with you already. I also know that your Heavenly Father is quite fond of you. He continues to provide for us to bring you home. I can't wait to tell you all about Him and His amazing love for you. Hold on, sweet one, we are coming for you.

Love,

Mommy

The Desires of My Heart

2011-10-16T19:10:00.000-07:00

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."

Psalm 37:4

I have been thinking about this verse a lot lately. I have always loved this verse and I love that the Lord is really bringing it alive to me right now. I know for certain that through our adoption journey the desires of my heart have changed. As I have truly been seeking the Lord and falling more and more in love with Him, He has changed the desires of my heart.

I have had this post on my heart for a while now. I shared some about how the Lord lead us to our daughter, but I really want to share more about how the Lord has changed my heart.

I really think it started last February at the Created for Care retreat. One of the breakout sessions I attended was called the joys and challenges of adopting a child with special needs. I had not originally planned to go to the breakout, but at the last minute I decided to go. I think this was the first time I felt the Lord tugging gently at my heart to be open to His plan for us.

About a month after the retreat I had a conversation with Justin where he told me he wouldn't be afraid if God called us to adopt a child with special needs. I went to bed that night and cried myself to sleep, because I knew I was afraid. As the days went by, I confessed my fears to the Lord and also confessed that I had made some decisions out of fear. I didn't want to live my life in fear any longer.

The Lord showed me that I was coming to Him praying for Him to bless us with a child, but that my hands were clenched tight. He showed me that I couldn't accept all He had for us until I relinquished control and opened my hands up to receive everything He had for us.

This was last March and He has continued to tell me through sermons, through songs, through Bible study, through prayer, through blog posts, to TRUST HIM and NOT BE AFRAID. This has pretty much been the theme of my life for the last 6 months. So, I was beginning to understand that God didn't want me to be afraid and I knew it may have to do with our adoption, but I had no idea what God didn't want me to be afraid of.

We really looked at our parameters again and decided to change them slightly. We also really examined all decisions regarding our adoption. I was struggling with the fact that we would be waiting so long for a referral when there were children all over the world waiting for families, especially older children and children with special needs. I wondered if we should have chosen a "waiting child" from the beginning. We prayed and prayed, but really felt like the Lord was telling us to stay with our agency and wait. At the same time, I felt He wanted us to be open to His will knowing He could change "our plans."

In July, Justin and I went on a mission trip to the Dominican Republic. The Lord continued to speak to my heart about not being fearful. One morning the missionary we were working with lead a devotion about Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. He told us that so many times we ask God to take us out of the furnace, to turn down the heat, when we really should be asking Him to meet us in the furnace. I know it is in my nature to want to be comfortable and to avoid the hard stuff. As I listened, I knew that God wanted me to truly trust Him and go outside of my comfort zone. I also fought back tears in that moment, because I just knew God wanted us to adopt a child with special needs.

So, you would think that the moment I saw our daughter's face I would have known for sure she was ours. I believe a part of me did, but I really didn't know for sure. I am almost ashamed to say that we wrestled with this decision for a little over a month. I thought about this decision constantly. I really wanted to make sure it's what God wanted us to do. He was incredibly patient with us and continued to confirm through His word and through His spirit working in us, that He wanted us to adopt this sweet girl.

I prayed and prayed for God to grant us peace in our decision and He finally did. He finally gave peace to my heart, but here's the tricky part, it was after we said "yes". When we finally gave in to the Lord's calling, He filled us with an indescribable peace and joy. When we decided to delight ourselves in Him and open our hearts to accept the blessing of our beautiful girl, He gave us the desires of our hearts.

I am so in love with our little girl. I know I haven't met her yet, but I know that she is the daughter we have been longing for all this time. I'm so thankful my Heavenly Father didn't give up on me and that He didn't give up on our girl. I'm so thankful He patiently and tenderly lead me to truly follow Him and His plan for our family.

More Waiting

2011-10-12T19:35:00.000-07:00

We are not waiting for October numbers. We will no longer post pictures of our girls' number and siblings' number. That part of our adoption journey is over. This is still so strange to me. We really thought we would have at least another nine months of stalking the wait list and updating our numbers.

A good friend of mine told me a few months ago that she was praying we would get our referral by this November. When she told me this, I thought it was very sweet of her, but also impossible. Well, it's October and we have seen our daughter's face, so I guess it wasn't so impossible after all.

So, one part of our waiting is over, and for that I am thankful. We are now waiting for a court date. I am finding that parts of this wait are easier, but some parts are so, very hard. I think about our girl constantly. I stare at her pictures and watch the video again and again. Oh, how I long to hold her.

I am so ready for her to experience the love of a family. I want to whisper in her ear how much the Lord loves her. I want to comfort her when she is scared and take care of her when she is sick. It's hard to do these things when she is on the other side of the world.

Mia Grace M's Friend, Eve M

2011-10-10T15:43:00.001-07:00

Our daughter's story is different than most of the children who are referred from our agency. AGCI has a transition home called Hannah's Hope where the children live and are taken care of until their adoptive parents can bring them home. Almost all of the Ethiopian children referred by AGCI live at Hannah's Hope.

Our daughter does not. She is at Edeget orphanage. She has been there since she was a tiny baby. We are praying HARD that she will be able to move to Hannah's Hope soon, but we were told she may not be able to move until we pass court. We are currently waiting for a court date, so this will be at least a few months away. Please join us in praying that she will be able to move soon. She would receive much better care at Hannah's Hope.

There are 2 other children from Edeget who AGCI were advocating for. One of them is a little boy who I pray finds a family soon.

The other is a sweet girl who is going to soon join my friend, Sarah's family. Her name is Eve M and she and our Mia M have lived together for almost 2 years at Edeget. Thankfully, Eve was able to move to HH, and we hope Mia can join her soon.

Sarah has been praying for our daughter and for our family since she first heard about her. I am so thankful to have "met" Sarah and know that our lives are now connected forever because of our precious daughters. The wonderful thing is that they only live a couple of hours away, so hopefully we will be able to keep the girls' connected as they grow. I see birthday parties and weekend play dates in our future.

I am telling you about sweet Eve M today, because Sarah learned this morning that Eve M. has pneumonia. Please pray for the Lord to completely heal her. Also, please pray for her family as they are so far away from their sick child.

You can read about this family's adoption journey on their blog, From the End of the Earth.

Celebrating, Paper Work, and What's Next

2011-10-09T19:02:00.000-07:00

It has been a fun week of telling our friends and family about our little girl in Ethiopia. It is such a good feeling to be able to celebrate with people who have been praying for us and our Mia for so long.
Here is a picture of us accepting our referral. Our caseworker (K) has been incredible to work with. She has been so patient and supportive this past month. It was so nice to be able to rejoice with her that our sweet Mia Grace M now has a family.

We went to dinner with our sweet friends, the Strains, on Tuesday to celebrate. This picture isn't very good, but it's all I have from that fun night of celebrating our referral of our daughter. This family is so, so, very precious to us. They have been a huge support to us during every step of the adoption. Megan has been there to laugh with me, cry with me during the hard times, pray for us, and just listen to me. I am so glad we get to do life with this wonderful family.
It's so crazy that we are going to soon need a table for 10 when our 2 families meet for dinner. Their two girls have been praying for baby Mia from the very beginning. I'm so glad they will get to see their prayers answered as we bring our daughter home.
Sawyer and Jolie are fun friends and they just had to have their picture taken together.

In other news, Justin and I turned in all of our referral paperwork on Friday to officially accept our referral. Yay!!!

This week we will have our Next Steps phone call to discuss what to expect from now on. The big question I get from every one is "when will she be home?" At this time we really don't know. We have to do some more waiting, of course. We have to make 2 trips to Ethiopia. During the first trip we will meet our daughter, spend time with her, and go to court to hopefully have the judge say, "she is your daughter." So, for now we are waiting for a court date. I am thinking this could be sometime in January, but we really just have to wait and see.

So, what are we up to while we wait? We still have some money to raise in order to be able to get our sweetie home. So, we are in the process of applying for grants and continuing to fundraise. Justin is still taking pictures and has a lot scheduled in the coming weeks. If you are local and want to have Justin do a photography session for your family, please let us know. We are also hoping to have a garage sale.

We also need to get Mia Grace M's room ready. I'm so excited to have a girl this time. We are also currently working on updating our home study. It expires in November, so we were already in the process of updating and paper chasing once again. We are waiting for our fingerprint approval from the FBI. I have no doubt we will be busy while we wait.

We also appreciate your prayers as we wait and work to get our girl home!

Mia Grace M

2011-10-05T14:40:00.000-07:00

We are so overwhelmed by the outpouring of love we have received from family, friends, and even strangers since we have told everyone about our daughter. Our daughter, those are my two new favorite words. My heart is so full as I think about our sweet girl!!!

We will not be able to show pictures of her sweet face on the internet until she is home. Of course, if you are live near me, I will certainly be delighted to show you her pretty picture.

We also, will not be able to share her Ethiopian name, but I do want to tell you a little about her name.

We chose the name Mia Grace for our daughter over a year ago, when we still thought our daughter was an infant in Rwanda. I announced the name and blogged about it here.

The name Mia means mine or my, and of course you know what Grace means. We chose 2 Corinthians 12:9 for our daughter and for our adoption journey.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

The Lord brought this verse to me often during our adoption journey. I usually just concentrated on the first part.

When Rwanda stopped accepting dossiers and we had to switch countries, I remembered, "My grace is sufficient for you."

When we found out our wait would be longer than expected and when things were uncertain with the Ethiopian courts, I remembered, "My grace is sufficient for you."

When we first started praying about baby M, the Lord reminded me of the verse again. This time I really thought about the whole verse and what it meant. It says, "my power (the Lord's power) is made perfect in weakness. Wow!!! I love this so much. When we learned about Mia's special needs, all of my fears and weaknesses became forefront in my mind, but the Lord whispered this verse to my heart to comfort me.

Mia Grace's Ethiopian name means mirror. So all together Mia Grace M means a Mirror of my Grace. I have been praying every single day that she will be a mirror, a reflection, of God's grace and love. I can tell you that for us she already is. I can already see the amazing grace of my sweet Lord for leading us to our girl. The Lord has already worked miracles in our daughter's life and I pray that when people meet her or hear her story they will remember how much our Heavenly Father loves his children.

Unexpected Bessing

2011-10-04T18:17:00.000-07:00

I have been wanting to write this post for so long and now I can't even think of how to start. Yesterday, Justin and I accepted a referral for a beautiful little girl!!!! We are so in love and we can not wait to have our girl home.

If you have been following our adoption journey then you know that our September number was 47 for a girl. No, we did not jump to the top of the list in less than a month.

I need to rewind a bit to begin this story. On August 17 our adoption agency sent out an e-mail to advocate for two new "waiting" children. This means these children were not within the parameters of anyone of the wait list, including us. One of them was a sweet little boy who is still waiting for his forever family and who I pray finds one very soon. The other was a beautiful 2.5 year old girl. (I can't share her Ethiopian name, so I will call her baby M for now). As soon as I saw her picture and started reading about her, I said out loud, "Is this our Mia?" I really can't explain it, but there was just something about her that captured my heart.

I told Justin about baby M when he got home and we began to pray that the Lord would bring her a family. A couple of days later I just could not get her out of my mind. I came to Justin, crying, and told him that I couldn't stop thinking about her. I didn't know if we were the family, but I knew that I deeply wanted her to have a family. Justin told me I should e-mail our caseworker, K, and let her know that we were interested in learning more about baby M. So, I did.

A couple of days later I heard from K that there was another family who was already looking into adopting baby M. I was happy that she had a potential family, but also a little sad that we were not the family. I continued to pray for her and wonder about how she was doing.

On August 30 I got the call that would change our lives forever. I was sitting down to check my e-mail when I got the call from K. I knew that it was not time for an update call, so I was freaking out a little inside when I answered the phone. K told me that they were still looking for a family for M and asked if I wanted to learn more about her. I told her I did, but asked if I could call her back on my home phone. I sent Justin a text to tell her I was about to talk to K about baby M. He text me back that he was in staff meeting, but he would pray.

K told me all that she knew about sweet M as I listened and wiped tears from my eyes. I will not share all of our little girl's story, because it is her story. I will tell you that she does have special needs. We had not originally requested a child with special needs, but the Lord had been working on our hearts for some time now in regards to this issue. I will write more about this another day.

So, for the past month we have been talking to an international pediatrician, working with AGCI to find out as much as we could about Baby M, praying like crazy for God to show us clearly what to do, and ultimately falling in love with our sweet girl.

When we started our adoption we thought we would be adopting a baby girl 0-12 months from Rwanda. I never would have imagined we would be where we are today, but I know without a doubt that God's hand has been guiding us the entire time. I know He has been preparing our hearts for our little M, since before we even said yes to adoption.

I am happy to say that baby M is the Mia we have been waiting for. Yesterday, we called K and told her that we wanted to adopt baby M. I think we have known in our hearts for a while now that she was ours, but we just wanted to be sure. I can now say that we are sure that sweet M is the girl God has chosen for our family. We are no longer on the waitlist and she is no longer a waiting child!!!! Praise the Lord!!!

"In his heart a man plans his coure, but the LORD determines his step." Proverbs 16:9

Celebrating Jax

2011-09-25T19:10:00.001-07:00

My baby boy turns 4 on Tuesday. I really can't believe it. We celebrated his birthday this weekend. We started with our traditional birthday breakfast on Saturday morning. We normally do our birthday breakfast on their actual b-day, but since Tuesday is a school day, we went ahead and celebrated on Sat. Justin's mom (aka LuLu) and sister (aka Auntie Jessica) stayed with us Friday night. Jax had blueberry muffins and candy for breakfast. This boy LOVES candy, so it was only appropriate to let him have some for breakfast. He opened some of his gifts and enjoyed his treats before we went to big brother's football game.
I really can't believe how big my little boy is getting. My parents (aka Nana and Poppy) met us at the game and spent the night on Saturday. Here is Jax sitting between his Nana and his LuLu.
We celebrated Jax's 4th birthday at a local gymnastics place. He had a blast! He loved the parachute games.
I love this picture of my little rule breakers. I am sure this was taken right before they did a flip.
This place is great for parties, because they take care of absolutely everything. All we had to bring was the cupcakes, ice cream, and kids.
I made cupcakes with Super Mario toppers.
Happy Birthday to my sweet blue-eyed boy. We love you to the moon and back!!!!

September Numbers

2011-09-19T18:28:00.000-07:00

We got our updated numbers this month. They were lower than we expected which is always a nice surprise. We moved 6 spots from last month bringing us to 47 for a girl. We started at 97, 9 months ago, so we have moved 50 spots in all on the girls' list. We finally hit the half way point. On the siblings list we moved 2 spots from last month bringing us to sweet 16.
Praying for lots of good news and an abundance of referrals this month.

My Little Football Player

2011-09-18T11:49:00.001-07:00

I decided last minute to sign Sawyer up for football this year. He is on the 5 year old flag football team with other little boys from his school and one other school. He had his first practices last week and a scrimmage Saturday morning. Justin is not the coach, but is helping out as much as he can. Sawyer is still trying to figure it all out. We are proud of him for trying something new.
Yesterday evening I had to run a couple of errands, so I decided to take Sawyer with me. I rarely get to spend one on one time with my kids, so even a trip to the store with just one kid is a special treat.

After our errands, I took him to Arby's for a mommy/son date. He loves the ham and cheddar sandwiches. He says they are scrumptious (his new favorite word). He chose a table for two in the back for us.
We had so much fun talking and laughing together. I am so proud of the little man he is turning into. I am so thankful for our special "date".

Overdue

2011-09-14T12:32:00.000-07:00

I am quite overdue on updating my blog. Things have been different around here since the boys started school. They are loving it and doing well, but I am still trying to figure things out. I am still teaching Mother's Day Out twice a week. We started last week and I love my sweet class. I thought I would be so bored on the other days, but so far I have been very busy, and not bored at all.

I have signed up to substitute teach on the days I don't have MDO. I haven't had any jobs yet, which is ok, since I have been so busy with other things. I think I am ready though, so it would be nice to get some calls soon. I am hoping to put all the money I make towards our adoption fund.

Speaking of our adoption, our Lilypie ticker shows that we have been on the waitlist for 9 months and 1 week. If I was pregnant I would be overdue and miserable right about now. When we got on the wiatlist we were told the wait would be 9-12 months. A few months after that the wait was increased to 12-18 months. So, we may be half way through our wait, maybe closer, we really don't know.

Our home study expires in November, so it is time to start updating everything. Justin and I are going to get fingerprinted (again) on Friday. I just made check-up appointments with our doctors for the whole family. It is a little less exciting this time around, but I know it is all just a part of bringing our girl home.

I feel like I have many more things I could update on, but they are all totally unrelated. I guess I will just have to start blogging more, so I can catch up.

Got Coffee?

2011-08-24T10:20:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since I have mentioned fundraising on our blog. The Lord has provided in amazing ways and we are so thankful that we have some money put aside for our adoption, but we are not done yet. Currently, we have enough in our adoption savings to cover the referral costs of one child and most of trip one to Ethiopia (we have to travel twice) or enough to cover the referral cost of siblings and very little of trip one.

So, to help cover some of the cost we decided to start a Just Love Coffee Fundraising Shop. Every time you purchase a bag of coffee or other item, a portion of the proceeds goes towards our adoption. Another portion goes to help orphans in Ethiopia. So, you can buy a bag of delicious, fair-trade coffee for yourself or a friend, help us bring home our sweet one/s, and help orphans in Ethiopia. What could be better than that?

I have to tell you that Justin and I have never been big coffee drinkers. We usually keep our coffee pot in the cabinet and bring it out just for guests. When I learned that Ethiopia is the birthplace of coffee, I told Justin we probably need to start drinking more coffee. So, now it is a part of my morning routine and I can't wait to try some Just Love Coffee. The hardest part will be deciding what to try first. So, click here to check out our store.

Also, we would love it if you shared the link to our coffee shop on your blog or facebook page!!!

hHat: $3 eachCoffee Scoop: $1 each

1st Day of School

2011-08-20T12:10:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the first day of school for my sweet boys. Sawyer started kindergarten and Jaxon started Pre-K at the same school. I just can't believe how big my boys are getting. I didn't cry when we dropped the boys off, but I did tear up when I looked at these pics.
I got the idea for these signs on Amy's blog. So glad she shared this link.

Jax loved all the picture taking attention, but Sawyer was not too happy about it. He just wanted to get to class.

I love this pic of my sweet boys holding hands. I'm glad Jax has his big brother right down the hall from him.
Jax was so excited to start school. He has the same teacher that Sawyer had last hear. I was really nervous about him starting this year, because he is the youngest kid in his class. His teacher is a sweet friend of mine and she sent me this text message yesterday: "Meredith, I have to tell you Jaxon had an awesome day!!!! He was a good listener and helper!!! You should be proud of Him!!!! I sure was!!!

This made my day! I am so glad he had a good first day!

Sawyer reported that his day was good too, besides the fact that he got bit by ants and had to visit the nurse. Sawyer's teacher is also a friend of mine. We actually went to junior high school together. I am so thankful my kids have wonderful teachers who truly care about them. We are all looking forward to a great year!

August Numbers

2011-08-19T14:01:00.001-07:00

It's time again to update our numbers. On the girls' list we are #:

(We moved 4 spots since last month)

On the siblings list we are #

(We moved 1 spot since last month) We are thankful to be in the teens.

Mission Trip Video

2011-08-15T14:49:00.000-07:00

Here is the video of our trip that was shown at church on Sunday. Justin made it and I think he did a great job. It is just a glimpse of our trip. He also did a 10 minute highlight video that was shown last night at our share service. I loved watching the video, listening to people's stories, and reliving our trip. It was a life changing trip and I am so thankful for the opportunity to go. I can't wait to go back!

Dominican Republic mission trip 2011 from North Monroe on Vimeo.

Longing

2011-08-09T13:10:00.000-07:00

I told you how much I loved holding and loving on the babies and children in the Dominican Republic. It brought me such joy to share the love of Christ with these precious ones.
I even had the pleasure of visiting sweet newborn babies in the hospital and praying for them with their families.
Justin loved the babies too and I loved seeing him hold sweet little ones again. Our boys are 5 and almost 4 and although they still like to snuggle every once in a while, they are too busy to just sit still for long.

It did my heart good to play and be silly with these beautiful girls, but I just couldn't stop thinking about our daughter in Ethiopia. My heart longs to know who God has planned for our family. Will it be one little baby girl, or two sweet sisters, or maybe a precious brother and sister pair?
I couldn't help but think about our child or children last week. I put this picture below on my facebook page and a friend asked us if this was our girl. Oh, how I wish I had a picture of me holding our girl. It hurts my heart to know that we are still many months away from that dream coming true.
Holding these beauties made me even more excited and hopeful about bringing our own little one/s home. Of course, it also made me sad that we have no idea when that will be. I am so ready to add a little one to our family!

I feel like I constantly go between two emotions during this wait. Most of the time I either feel hopeful or discouraged. I can feel those two emotions in the same day and even the same minute.

I am hopeful, because I know God has a plan for our family. Yet, I get discouraged during this long wait and the ups and downs of adoption.

The Ethiopian courts closed last week for the rainy season. They will be closed until October. Families who have already passed court can still travel to bering home their children and kids can still be referred by our agency, but things will slow down. This is not the greatest news, because things are already moving very slowly. Of course, this discourages me some, but I am also very thankful for rainy season because East Africa is in desperate need of rain right now. I am praying the Lord brings rain to the nations who desperately need it to live.

We have also recently learned that several orphanages in Southern Ethiopia have been shut down. We don't really know why or how this will affect future adoptions. We do know that several families from our agency who have already met their sweet ones are being told that their adoptions can't be finalized until further investigations are done. My heart is breaking for the families who have no idea when they will be able to return to bring their children home. Please join me in praying for these families and for the orphans of Ethiopia who are being affected by the orphanage closures.

Every time I feel discouraged the Lord gently reminds me that my hope doesn't lie in what is going on in Ethiopia or in knowing how many more months we will wait. My hope comes in the Lord and in Him alone and His love never fails me. I pray that I will long for the Lord even more than I long to meet my daughter. I pray that He will restore me as I seek to fix my eyes on Jesus.

That is why we labor and strive, because we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all people, and especially of those who believe. 1 Timothy 4:10

While We Were Away

2011-08-08T06:38:00.000-07:00

I have posted l0ts of pictures from our mission trip and I'm not done yet, but I have to show you what my boys did while we were away. Many people have asked me how it was being away from the boys for over a week. I will tell you, I really did miss them. The worst part was that it took us a day longer to get home than expected, and I was so ready to see them. But, I will also tell you that it was worth it and I would do it again. The boys stayed with Justin's parents in Arlington, TX and they had a blast. They also got to spend a lot of time with their Aunt Jessica. I am so glad they got this special time with family who adore them. I am also glad that we were able to share our experiences of sharing Christ with the people of the Dominican Republic with our children. I think it is important for them to not only hear about the gospel, but to see us sharing it with others. One day we hope to take them with us on mission trips, but for now I am thankful they have family who love to take good care of them when we are away.
The little cowboys went to the stock yards, Chuck E. Cheese (I just love that my little boys are holding hands in this pic above),
had smoothie parties with smoothies made by their LuLu,
went to Legoland and the Rain Forest Cafe' with Aunt Jessica,
went swimming and played in the sprinkler,
and even did a few chores around this house. I am glad Jax helped his grandparents. He is always the little helper around here, too.
They are still talking about all the fun they had while we were away. A couple of days after I got back, I read this post from Andrea about moms listening to the call of reaching the nations. I love it and completely agree with all she had to say. I am glad I didn't keep my fear of leaving them from missing out on experiencing what God had planned for me.

Gran Dios

2011-08-07T13:45:00.000-07:00

So, if you know me at all, you know I love teaching children. One of my favorite things I was able to do last week is teach the children of Barahona about our Big God. The theme of our week was Gran Dios (Big God). We all had a blast lovin on the sweet kiddos. I am so thankful for the awesome translators we had. We would have been completely lost without them. The picture above is of me with one of my favorite translators, Wany and her sweet sisters.
There were lots of kids with tons of energy, so I'm glad I had an awesome team to work with.
When the week started we thought we would be working with the kids once during the afternoon, but we ended up doing it twice. We met first in the park and then went to apartment complex and did it again. It was great!
These pictures show two of the little boys who I just loved. They reminded me of my 3 year old boy at home who I missed so much. They were mischievous and full of life, just like my Jax.
I was one of the Bible application teachers last week.

I was so nervous about communicating with the kids since I don't remember much from high school Spanish class, but with Wany by my side, things went really well.
These sweet children made quite an impression on me.
There were
so many
sweet faces
that I don't ever
want
to forget!!!

Worshipping Together

2011-08-05T14:26:00.000-07:00

The Sunday we spent in the Dominican was probably one of the best Sundays of my life. We were able to attend two worship services, one with a new Haitian church and one with Franklin's church. Franklin is the pastor of the church we partnered with in the DR. Worshipping with the people was incredible! Here is a little video Justin made.

Dominican Republic :: day tres from North Monroe on Vimeo.

This was the Haitian church. As you can see it was very small and there was no air conditioning. Most of us didn't have a chair to sit in, but it was a sweet time worshiping our Heavenly Father together.

At the end of the service we handed out stuffed animals, bread, and t-shirts to the children. They were so excited to receive this simple gift.
We ended the day with worship at Franklin's church. As we were waiting for services to begin, I turned around, saw this, and said " Holy Cow." This isn't something I normally see while I am attending church.
We were able to teach the children during both services. I couldn't help, but think about our children's building back at home. We take the things we have for granted every day.
We were able to worship again on our last night in Barahona. The picture below shows two of my new friends from the trip. Mrs. Evelyn is a sweet lady who traveled with our team to the Dominican. I am thankful I was able to get to know her. Sarah is a sweet mother of 3 who we visited with all week. I really didn't get to know her as well as I wish. On this last night, I was standing behind her and I noticed her wiping a tear from her face. I went up to her and put my arm around her. We then shared a hug and some tears for several minutes. It was such a beautiful and special moment. We weren't able to communicate verbally, but we shared a special bond as daughters of the King and mothers who want nothing but the best for the children He has entrusted to us.
I hope I never forget what it felt like to worship with these beautiful people. We don't speak the same language. The churches we attend look completely different on the outside. We may look very different, but as believers we are all the same. We are all sinners, saved only by God's grace. We all strive to love the Lord in this fallen world.

Dominican Republic: The Medical Clinic

2011-08-03T13:18:00.000-07:00

We arrived home Sunday night from our mission trip to the Dominican Republic. We were supposed to get home Saturday, but there were several delays. It was an exhausting two days of travel and we are so glad to finally be home with our boys. We missed them terribly, but we had an amazing trip and we hear they had a great time with family.

I am still processing everything we experienced and all God taught me last week. I am sure I won't be able to get everything in to just one post, so I wanted to start by sharing some pictures and a couple of videos from the first few days of our trip.

We arrived in Santa Domingo around 9:00 on Thursday night. We ate a quick dinner at the hotel and then went to bed. The next day we drove to Barahona, which is where we spent the remainder of our trip.
We were able to visit the beautiful beach near our hotel. We enjoyed our day as we waited for the rest of our group to arrive.

We awoke early the next morning to assist doctors at a medical clinic. When we arrived at the school to set up the "clinic" we were met by many people who were waiting for us. The precious baby below was the first of many babies I was able to hold. This sweet girl fell asleep in my arms and I would have held her all day, but her mom had to take her to see the pediatrician.
I went to see if any of the doctors needed any help. The first one I talked to was the pediatrician who I assisted for the rest of the day. I spent most of the day holding and entertaining little children as their moms talked to the doctor.
Justin was busy taking video of everyone, so I didn't see him much. He said he kept asking people if they had seen me and they would say, "last time I saw her she was holding a baby." That pretty much summed up my day and I loved every minute of it.
This precious girl was so beautiful. She sat quietly in my lap and when it was time for her to go with her mother, she turned and planted a kiss on my cheek. Melt my heart!

The picture below shows just some of the people who were waiting to see the doctor I was working with. These sweet mothers waited for hours outside in the heat, without tv or magazines to entertain them, so the doctor could spend a couple of minutes examining their children. Sadly, one of our ministry bags filled with medicine did not make it in time for the clinic, so many of these families had to be turned away. I felt so awful for them. I will think twice before I ever complain about waiting for a doctor again.
The last baby the doctor examined was cutie pie Edwin who took a nap in my arms.
I enjoyed spending time with Edwin and his adorable big sister.
I was even nice enough to let my hubby hold him for a minute. Oh, melt my heart, again!!!
I really have to say that the time we spent at the medical clinic were some of the best moments of our entire trip. It was a long, hot day, but I was so blessed by the people we met. It was a perfect way to start our week in Barahona.

Here is a little video Justin made from our day at the clinic.

Dominican Republic :: day dos from North Monroe on Vimeo.

Fundraising Friends

2011-07-19T12:40:00.000-07:00

One of the best parts of our adoption journey thus far is the people we have met and the friendships we have made with fellow adoptive parents. It has been awesome to connect both on-line and in real life with other families who are called to care for orphans.

Another thing that has been such a blessing to us is connecting with "old" friends who have responded to the call to adopt.

My friend, Cole e-mailed me a few weeks ago to let me know that she and her husband Chad are going to adopt their third child (they have two bio kids) from Ethiopia. I was so excited to hear this news. Cole and I went to college (Louisiana Tech) together and although we haven't seen each other much since then I am happy that we have reconnected. I am so excited to follow their journey to a baby boy in Africa.

Like many of us adoptive parents, they need to raise the funds to bring home their son. Another good friend of ours from college designed these t-shirts for Cole and Chad. I think they look awesome! I can't wait to get mine. You can read more about their adoption journey and find out how to order one of these awesome shirts here.

Another friend, Tanya, contacted me a few months ago to introduce herself and let me know that she and her husband are in the process of adopting a little girl from China. I have never met Tanya, but she knows Justin and his family. You can read more about Tanya's adoption journey on her blog. Tanya has a really great fundraiser going on right now. It is a raffle to win an American Girl Doll.
You can donate $10 for one raffle entry to win or $25 for 3 entries. I for one am super excited about the chance to win a doll for our future daughter. Go here to find out how to win a doll for the special girl in your life.

So, head on over to my friends' blogs and say hi and take part in helping them bring their sweet children home.

Little Things That Make Me Smile

2011-07-18T20:58:00.000-07:00

We leave in two days to go on a mission trip to the Dominican Republic with a team from our church. I have been busy all day packing and checking things off of my to-do list, but I wanted to take a moment to list a few things that have made me smile lately.

Dates With My Love

Date nights with Justin definitely make me smile. Justin's sister came to town last week and kept the boys for us one night, so we could celebrate our anniversary. Our boys had fun with their aunt while we enjoyed a nice, quiet dinner. Thank you, Aunt Jessica! Dinner and dessert was delicious. After dinner we did a little shopping to purchase things we need for our trip to the Dominican Republic. We also bought little gifts for the boys to open each day that we are gone. Which brings me to the next thing that makes me smile.

Surprising the People I Love

Justin and I picked out small treats for the boys to open each day that we are away from them. Today I wrote them notes on the back of each bag to remind them that they are loved. This is the longest time either of us have been away from the boys, and I know we are going to miss them a ton. I also know they will be well taken care of and have a blast with Justin's parents.

Winning a Giveaway

My AGCI friend, Courtney, had a giveaway on her blog last week and I won! She makes these beautiful greeting cards. Aren't they pretty?

She is on a scrap booking retreat this week and I can't wait to see what she creates.

Crafty Friends

My friend Megan made these cute bag tags for the boys. I needed something to help distinguish their suitcases, because they are identical.
I thought these were just the perfect thing! On the back she put their initials and our home address.
She also made a tag for Sawyer's backpack. He will be entering Kindergarten in the fall. The school mascot is the lions. I love this bag tag! Jax loved it too, so I think she is going to make one for his school bag as well.
Thoughtful Friends

My sweet friend Katie bought me this t-shirt last week.
All of the proceeds of the shirt go to help feed orphans in Ethiopia. She knew I would love a gift that helps the sweet children of Ethiopia.

Katie and her husband, Michael are in the process of becoming foster parents. It has been wonderful to get to know them and hear their hearts for adoption.

So, these are just a few things that make me happy. I need to get to bed or I will not be smiling in the morning. =)

How We Got Here

2011-07-17T14:04:00.000-07:00

This is the picture we submitted with our application to AGCI last summer. It was one year ago this month that we were accepted into AGCI's Rwanda program. The main difference I see when I look at this picture is that the boys are bigger and more grown up now. Jax looks like such a baby in this picture. In some ways not much has changed. We are still a family of 4 pursuing adoption, but the truth is we have changed so much over this past year. God has grown Justin and I closer to each other and to Himself.

I mentioned in my last post that we are changing our parameters to 0-3 years for a girl or a sibling group with at least one girl. This is not the first time we felt the Lord leading us to open our parameters. It may seem that we are just very indecisive and can't make up our minds. I wanted to share a little bit about how we got to where we are now.

So, as I said, last July we were accepted into the Rwanda program. We had dreams of adopting a 0-12 month old baby girl from Rwanda. We decided to name our daughter Mia Grace and began to pray for her by name. I was already dreaming about my sweet daughter and couldn't wait to hold her in my arms.

In August my dreams started to change a little and I kept picturing Mia with a sister. It was strange, because Justin and I agreed that we would only be adopting 1 child at a time. A couple of weeks after I started daydreaming about 2 littles from Africa, we found out that Rwanda would no longer be accepting dossiers, at least for now. So many thoughts were going through my head as I spoke to our caseworker about the changes and what it meant for our family. The most surprising thought that entered my head during our conversation was, "maybe we can switch to Ethiopia and adopt siblings." My next thought was, "you are crazy! Justin would never agree to adopt siblings."

That night I had a very vivid dream. In the dream I spoke to Justin and told him that I felt like God was leading us to possibly adopt siblings. He said he agreed with me. I woke up knowing it was indeed a dream, because there is no way he would say yes. It's not that my husband was opposed to more children, but he is very practical and level-headed and this wasn't exactly the most practical and level-headed decision for our family.

So, I decided that since I couldn't stop thinking about sisters I should have a real life conversation with my husband. I told him about the dream and about the "crazy" thoughts I had been having. To my surprise he didn't say no. He didn't say yes, but he didn't say no either.

We decided to withdraw from the Rwanda program and apply for the Ethiopia program with AGCI. I went for a walk one morning before I started our application. I had such an uneasy feeling about everything. I seriously didn't know if we were supposed to continue on with the adoption at this point. I prayed to the Lord asking Him to show us what to do. I began to think about our parameters and I realized that is what I was feeling uneasy about. I talked to Justin and we decided to change our parameters to 0-20 months for a girl. We also decided to go ahead and get on the siblings list. At the time, we thought that two girls made the most since, so they could share a room.

So, fast forward about 5 months. We were officially waiting for our girl or girls. The Lord started speaking to me about why we make the decisions we make. He showed me clearly that there are some decisions I make because of fear and that is not what He desires for my life. I really started looking at a lot of areas in my life including our parameters. I prayed that God would reveal anything we should change. We started researching special needs and talking to our case workers about what God was showing us. We also prayed about adopting an "older" child, meaning a child over the age of 2.

We finally decided that we would expand the age of our child to up to 3. Jax will be 4 in September and since our agency has a rule that our adopted child must be at least 10 months younger than our youngest child, a 3 year old is the oldest we can adopt. We also decided that we would not have any problems with adopting a little boy. We both still feel that God has a little girl for us, so if we adopt siblings, it will be with at least one girl.

Our Heavenly Father has lovingly provided for our adoption thus far and we trust that He will continue to do so. One of our biggest fears in the beginning was about how we would pay for the adoption. We still have a ways to go in raising/saving for what we need, but so far we have had just what we needed when we needed it.

I have no idea if we will adopt siblings or why He has lead us to change our parameters. We could still end up with an infant daughter and that would be just fine with us. Maybe the Lord just wants us to trust Him a little more, to let go of a some of our control.

We found out this week that we are unofficially #18 for siblings. We are so excited to be in the teens!!! It is a little bit scary not knowing how many children we will add to our family, or how old they will be, or exactly how much money we will need to get them home. Thankfully, we have a God who has all the answers and who knows what is best for us. I can't wait to see who He has picked out for our family.

We love you baby or babies and we are coming for you!!!

July Numbers!

2011-07-13T11:28:00.000-07:00

We received our July numbers today. I am happy to report that several referrals went out last month and we are moving right along. We moved 7 spots on the girls list putting us at #:

This means we have moved exactly 40 spots since getting on the list in December. If you remember from last month our siblings number had actually increased. I am so happy to say that we moved 6 spots in June putting us at #

This number is especially sweet, because it is our half way point. We got on the list at #41 for siblings. I have been praying all month that our number would be 20 or 21. Hooray for answered prayers. Now, I am really hoping for a number in the teens next month!!

Also, just to remind you our parameters are 0-20 months for a girl and 0-24 months for sibling girls. Justin and I decided a few months ago that we would like to expand our parameters a little. After much prayer and several discussions with our case workers we have decided to change our parameters to 0-3 years for a girl and 0-3 years with at least one girl on the siblings list. Nothing is official yet. We will most likely wait until we update our home study to make these changes official. Our home study will have to be updated in November. We will let you know when these changes happen. We are so excited to see what God has in store for our family and who He has picked out for our us.

I have one more special number to share with you today. Justin and I have been married for 9 wonderful years today.
I am so thankful for my husband and the life we have together. I can't help but wonder what we will be doing next year for our tenth anniversary. Here's hoping our family is a little bigger by this time next year. =)

Summer Vacation 2011

2011-07-11T06:03:00.001-07:00

We got back Saturday night from our family vacation to Tennessee. It was a great week! We did so much in 5 days and it was hard to narrow down the pics.

We stayed with Justin's brother, Jon and his wife Kelsey at their home in Murfreesboro. Kelsey got the boys lots of fun goodies like water balloons, swords, and silly string. We started off our vacation on Monday morning with donuts and a silly string fight in the front yard.

Then we went swimming at a friends house. We spent most of our time outside last week, so the boys have nice little tans now.
We had a fun and relaxing 4th of July. After swimming Justin and Kelsey cooked breakfast for dinner. Then we had a water balloon fight. I'm not sure who had more fun, the kids or the adults. Our kids loved watching us act like kids! We ended the day by watching fire works.

Tuesday we took a little walk to see the waterfalls. We were only there a couple of minutes when Sawyer slipped in the water.

After making a run to get Sawyer some dry clothes we met some fun friends for lunch and a play date at the Children's Discovery Center. The Spence's moved from Monroe to Murfreesboro last year, so it was great to reconnect with them.

That evening we met some more fun friends for a picnic dinner at the park. Amber and Amy are two AGCI adoptive mamas that I have enjoyed getting to know. Amy was so sweet to visit with us the night before she went to Ethiopia on a mission trip.
Jax really wanted to love on Elijah, but little E just wanted to play.
Wednesday we drove to Rock Island for a little hiking. It was so beautiful! We did not miss the hot and humid Louisiana weather at all last week.
The boys loved swimming in the freezing cold river. I preferred to stay on the rocks and take pictures. =)
We turned back when we saw dark clouds moving in, but we didn't leave soon enough. It poured on us the entire way back. I prayed the whole time that we would not be struck by lightning. We made it back safely and completely soaked.
Thursday, we woke up bright and early to drive to Santa Claus, Indiana. We spent the day at Holiday World and Spashin Safari. We had a blast!
Friday we woke up, ate donuts one more time, and packed up. We drove to Chattanooga to visit with my aunt, uncle, and cousins before heading home.
We all had fun at the aquarium.
The boys played in the fountains outside the aquariums while we visited.
It was a busy and fun week! Looking through these pictures really makes me want to go back! But right now I need to finish laundry, unpack, and start getting ready for our trip to Dominican Republic next week.

Grab Some Popcorn and Don't Forget the Tissues

2011-07-02T13:02:00.000-07:00

I just have to share these super sweet Gotcha videos. All three of these beautiful families adopted through AGCI. It makes my heart happy to see these precious children come home to their families. All these videos also footage of Hannah's Hope, the transition home where are child/ren will be. Oh, how my heart longs to enter those black gates. Several of my AGCI friends have brought home their sweeties in the last month, so I look forward to many more wonderful videos. Watching kiddos come home to their families is by far the best part of the wait! Take a few minutes to watch these videos.

Summer Sweetness

2011-06-26T13:02:00.000-07:00

We are enjoying our summer so far. I can't believe June is almost over. I know July is going to fly by, because we will be gone for much of the month. For the past two weeks we have been taking it easy at home for the most part.

We have been swimming a lot this month. We don't have a pool, but lots of our friends do and they are so sweet to share with us. The boys took swim lessons last week. It was not the best week for swim lessons, because it rained two out of the five days. Lessons were from 8-9 and the water was freezing, but they did awesome. I am a proud mama! They were both jumping off the diving board and swimming to the shallow end by day 3. We said goodbye to the floaties this week.

I am keeping two little girls on Tuesdays and Thursdays this summer. It is fun for me to have little girls around and the boys like having friends over. These kids are so silly and they make me smile.

Last Tuesday it stormed and we were stuck inside all day. I set up a tent and we went "camping."
We even had an inside picnic a.k.a. eating lunch on a blanket in our living room. Sawyer said it was an "in-nic" instead of a picnic. He thought he was pretty clever for coming up with that one.
The boys are also participating in the summer reading program at the library. Sawyer made a goal to read 100 book this summer. One of my favorite things about being a mom is reading to my children. I have been reading to them since they came home from the hospital. Now Sawyer is starting to reading to me and I love it. Jax told the librarian that he is going to read " a zillion milllion" books this summer. A "zillion million" is Jax's favorite number.

Yesterday we took the boys to see Cars 2. I didn't think it was as good as the first one, but the boys enjoyed it.

We also discovered the goodness of the double stuffed oreo blast this week. It was so yum, and Sawyer declared I was the best mom in the world for sharing mine with him.

We are enjoying our summer so far and I hope we have a "zillion million" more sweet moments.

The Best Daddy

2011-06-19T20:32:00.000-07:00

I happen to think that my husband is the best Daddy ever. I love watching him with our boys. He is pretty much their hero and that's just how it should be.
Today I asked the boys a few questions about their dad and recorded their answers. Here is what Sawyer (5) had to say:

My favorite thing to do with daddy is to take turns on the I-Pad.

My dad is good at helping me brush my teeth.

My dad likes to get on the computer.

My dad works on the IPad at church.

My dad teaches me to be good.

My dad likes to eat lots and lots of good, good food.

My daddy loves Me!
Jaxon (age 3) said:

My favorite thing to do with daddy is to give him hugs and to jump on the trampoline.

I like to fly kites with him.

I like to go with my Dad on a mission trip.

My dad is good at exercising.

My dad likes to get muscles.

My dad works at church.

My dad teaches me to jump on the trampoline high.

My dad likes to eat taco salad.

My daddy loves me, Sawyer, and himself.

Happy Father's Day, Justin. We love you!

Remembering, Wrestling, and Resolving

2011-06-17T18:13:00.000-07:00

Every year around this time, I can't help but think about the two precious children who came into our lives one June. It was six years ago when we met two of the sweetest kids I know. I wrote about our experience as foster parents exactly one year ago. You can read that post here.

We were barely 25 years old when we committed to care for two little ones who needed a home. I am sure many people thought we were crazy, but for us it made perfect sense. We wanted a child and things were not going as we planned. We were waiting for God to answer our prayer for a child. We knew there were children who needed homes. We had the room in our home and our hearts to share with children who needed it. It made perfect sense to us. It was pretty much a no-brainer. We became foster parents.

It was an amazing experience. I have no doubt it was exactly what God wanted us to do. He used this time in our lives to deepen our love for orphans and to solidify our call to one day adopt.

Six years later we find ourselves in a similar place. Again, we are waiting for God to answer our prayer for a child, this time through international adoption. I find myself becoming uneasy with the wait. Part of it is that I am impatient, but the hardest part for me is waiting when I know there are children who need homes now.

I know there are kids in foster care who need permanent homes. I know there are children who will enter into foster care in the coming weeks who need a safe home where they can be nurtured and loved until they are able to return home. (We would absolutely foster right now if we could, but we can't at this time. I have asked.) I know there are precious ones overseas who are being overlooked because of their age or a disability. This absolutely breaks my heart. I am uneasy within myself and have began to question our decision to wait for our child in Ethiopia. A part of me feels like I am saying no to the many children all over the world who are available for adoption now.

This is something I have been wrestling with for a while now. As I was talking to God about all of this, He revealed something to me. I realized that I felt unsettled because things are not as they should be. In the perfect world God created, children would never be without families. There wouldn't be children in foster care or teenagers who are aging out of the system without families to support and love them. Unfortunately we don't live in a perfect world, but in a sinful world filled with pain and loss. Things are not as they should be. Then I felt like God said to me, "Meredith, you are not the answer to these problems! I have not called you to be the solution. I am the ONLY solution. I am the ONLY answer. You are only called to lead others to Me, the ONLY one who has all the answers"

I realize this is probably not news to any of you. Of course, I am not the answer to the world's orphan crisis. I can do my part, but I don't need to feel guilty about every child that I am unable to adopt or care for. God knows exactly who our child/ren are. We have prayed about every decision thus far, like what agency to use, what country to adopt from , age parameters, etc. God has given us a peace and Satan loves to come along and make us doubt. We will continue to pray and will always be open to whatever the Lord shows us, but for now I am confident we are where we need to be. I'm done with the doubt and the guilt.

I love this verse I posted last year on this date. It still gives me hope and I'm glad God reminded me of it today.

Jeremiah 29:11-14 (The Message)
I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. "When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I'll listen. "When you come looking for me, you'll find me. "Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed.

All Good Things Must Come to an End

2011-06-15T05:43:00.000-07:00

Sawyer's first t-ball season is officially over. He had his last game last week. I have loved watching him this year. His daddy was his coach and I loved watching the two of them.
This picture makes me laugh because if there is anything Sawyer learned this year it is where to line up at the plate. He never once forgot to draw that line.

Jaxon had fun playing in the dirt at all the games. They had 3 games a week, so that was a lot of playing in the dirt. Next year, Jax can join the team. Now, that will be fun to watch!

We celebrated our season with a pizza party at our church.
We have all made new friends this season. It was fun to just hang out and celebrate with our little ball players.

Sawyer was super excited about his first trophy! He told me that he needed a trophy cabinet now.

Last Thursday we went to closing ceremonies where all the players received medallions.
I had to get a picture with the coach and his favorite player. =)

The sweet team gave Justin a gift card, so after closing ceremonies he took the family to dinner.
One baseball season down, with many more to go. Love my boys!

June Numbers and Choosing to be Thankful

2011-06-12T13:07:00.000-07:00

We got our June numbers this month. We didn't move at all on the girl's list this month, so we are still at #
We actually moved back 1 on the siblings list. This can happen if someone decides to be added to another list. So this month our sibling # is:

My first emotion was that of disappointment and discouragement. Of course, I pray that we will get closer every month to our girl/s. I felt let down and sad that this was not the case this month.

But, the Lord spoke to my heart and reminded me of how much I have to be thankful for. I can choose to complain about what I don't have and how things aren't going my way or I can choose to thank God and trust in His plan for us. I am choosing to be thankful for where we are in our adoption journey. I know God will use every slow down and every bump in the road to line us up perfectly with the child or children he has for our family.

Please join us in praying for big movement in the next few months. We pray that we would not lose hope, but cling to the One who loves us and knows the plans He has for us. He is always faithful!

"Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:18

We Heart VBS!

2011-06-10T17:50:00.000-07:00

We have had a fun-filled week of VBS. Our church did Big Apple Adventure this year. I was the preschool director and Bible Story teacher. We had 52 preschoolers this week, so as you can imagine I was busy this week.

I tried to get a pic of me and the boys all week. I finally got Justin to take our picture and as you can see Sawyer was not too happy about it. He was ready to go to VBS and didn't want to stop and smile.

This was a little better, except that Jax and I had our eyes closed.
I just love teaching preschoolers. They are so much fun. You never know what they are going to say.

They sang on stage today. While we were practicing, the kid behind Sawyer was singing at the top of his lungs. Sawyer thought it was hilarious!

One of the best parts about VBS is that the boys took great naps every afternoon. Yesterday, Jax fell asleep in the middle of the living room.

Today, the boys didn't even make it home. We all had a blast, but we are worn out!

Catching Up

2011-06-07T13:29:00.001-07:00

Wow! It has been a long time since I posted on here. Where did May go? There are two main reasons I haven't posted in a while. The first is that this is an adoption blog and I just don't have much to say about the adoption. Just waiting, and waiting some more. Today actually marks 6 months of being on the waitlist. It really has flown by and for that I am grateful. To be honest, it has been hard for me to even think about the adoption without getting sad. We still have so much longer before we even know who we will be adopting. Uggh! I know I need to stay positive, but it's hard sometimes. I would really appreciate your prayers for me to have a more positive outlook on this adoption process.

The second reason I haven't posted is that we have been extremely busy. We have taken 3 road trips in the last month. We have been to 2 weddings, 2 high school graduations, 1 end of the year preschool program, and countless t-ball games. It has been a fun month with lots of time with our family and friends.

So, without further ado, here is the last month in pictures:

Our first road trip was to Shepherd of the Ozarks in Arkansas. Justin was shooting video for the wedding and we all went with him. It was such a beautiful place and we all had a blast. Jax, our animal lover, fell in love with the ponies.

The day after we got home, I turned 31. I celebrated my birthday with a lunch date at Olive Garden with Justin and Jax. We followed our lunch with delicious red velvet cupcakes. Yum! Then Justin took Jax home, so I could do some shopping by myself. It was perfect. We ended the day with a little t-ball action. I'm so proud of how well Sawyer has done this year and how great a coach he had (aka, my husband). It was a fabulous birthday Monday with my 3 favorite guys.

Then on Wednesday my mom came in for a few days. She was able to go with us to Sawyer's end of the year program. It was so cute!

Then we went to my cousin, Miranda's high school graduation.
I didn't have much planned the following week, so at the last minute I decided to go to Arlington, TX to see family and friends. Justin had to work, so the boys and I went on Road Trip #2.
We stayed with my in-laws. It was a nice restful week and we were able to see some of our old friends. Louisiana is great, but sometimes I just miss Texas. It was nice to go back for a few days and catch up with friends.
I drove back on a Saturday, just in time to go to wedding #2 of the summer.
Then, we spent Memorial Day at the lake with good friends.
Sawyer caught his first fish!!!! Can you see it?
Last Friday, we traveled back to Texas. Yes, I drove to Texas two weekends in a row and each trip was at least five hours each way. Oh, and my poor Sawyer gets car sick so bad. He threw up a total of 7 times in the car the past two weeks. I really wish I could find something that helped him in the car. We have tried everything, but if any of you have any ideas I would love to hear them.

Ok, so this time we went to Houston to see my cousin, Meghan graduate from high school. Many of our family members were there including my cousin Cameron in the picture below.
Here I am with my two beautiful cousins who are headed to college in the fall. I love these girls!
So, we came back the very next day. It was a super quick trip, but we had to be back for church Sunday morning. So, as you can see we have been a little busy. I think things may slow down soon, but not this week. We started VBS yesterday. I am teaching preschool Bible story. I love it! We have 51 preschoolers signed up this year.
Sawyer's last t-ball game was last night. He has had 3 games a week, since the end of April. Tonight we have our teams end of the year ceremony and Thursday we have closing ceremonies. I didn't know they did closing ceremonies for t-ball. Intense!

I'm so glad I had a chance to catch up with our blog. Now, I need to go pick up 5 pizzas for our party tonight.

May Numbers

2011-05-16T14:49:00.001-07:00

I am finally getting around to posting our numbers. We went out of town the end of last week. We had a fabulous time in the Ozark Mountains. I will post more about that later. April was a slow month for referrals, but we did manage to move a few spots. On the girl's list we are #

That is 6 spots lower than last month. On the siblings list we moved 4 spots so we are at #

I am also throwing in one more number just for fun. Today I am celebrating my 31st birthday.

This is not actually my cake. My sweet hubby bought me red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese icing from a yummy little bakery in town. He was off of work today, so he and Jax took me to eat lunch. Then I got to do some shopping all by myself. What a perfect day!

Sweet Big Brothers

2011-05-09T14:20:00.000-07:00

It has been almost 2 weeks since my last post. I really don't have a good reason for it. The first week I was at the Orange Conference in Atlanta. It was a great week worshiping, listening to awesome speakers, and bonding with some fun people from our church.

Last week I was catching up on laundry and snuggle time with the kids. I have started to blog several times, but didn't have much to say.

I still don't really, so I will share a couple of sweet stories about my boys.

A few weeks ago when I was getting Sawyer tucked in bed, he was asking about when Mia would be home. I told him that I didn't know, but he will probably be 6 or maybe even 7 when she gets home, (he was 5 in March). Then, I said I hoped it would be sooner than that. He could tell I was sad talking about it, so he said, "Mom. don't worry. I will get her home soon." I asked him how he would do that and he replied, " I just won't have anymore birthdays until she gets home. Then I will still be 5 when she comes home." Oh, how I love his sweet heart.

Jax never goes a day without talking about his little sis. As far as he is concerned she is already a member of our family, she just lives some where else. He is not shy at all and every time he meets someone new he says, " My name is Jaxon. My brother's name is Sawyer. My dad is Justin and my mom is Meredith. My baby sister is Mia, but she lives in Africa." We for sure get some funny looks from cashiers, waitresses, etc. It does open the conversation for us to talk about our adoption, though.

Sweet Baby Girl,

You are already loved so much. Your biggest brother is willing to skip his birthday if it means getting you home sooner. Believe me, that is true love. Your other big brother is already smitten with you. He tells everyone he meets about his baby sister, Mia. There is not a day that goes by that we don't think about you and pray for you. We don't even know who you are or what you look like, but you are very much a part of our family.

Much Love,

Mommy